Heat Waves (ambient cover)

Hi.
I’m sitting on the bed.
Hi, sweetheart.
The tears came first.
Nate.
He pulled me toward him.
Sweetheart.
I dissolve in his arms.
I can’t believe he’s here again, that he’s holding everything together again.
I almost lose consciousness.
Those hands again.
That strength.
His scent.
Is he really here?
I’m afraid to trust my own belief.
I’m afraid to believe that he’s here.
He hugs me and kisses me.
Kitten.
Please, don’t.
He kisses me.
I don’t want words. I know he’s sorry. I know all of it.
I don’t want to punish him. I don’t want to judge him.
I don’t want to.
He’s here. And nothing else matters.

James Young — Stoned on You
Nate kisses me again.
I arch.
I’ll walk through hell again if I have to.
If he’s at the end of it.
I’d die a hundred times if I had to.
I love him.
I love him.
Nate.
Tears pour down like a river.
Sweetheart — he kisses me, moving down to my chest.
My body can’t believe his hands are here, that his lips are here.
I can’t breathe.
Nate. Nate, stop.
He stops.
Sweetheart.
I blush.
He smiles — that familiar crooked smile of his.
Then he freezes.
Nate, let me look at you. Let me see you again.
He lifts his head.
My favorite eyes.
My straight, stubborn nose — broken so many times in fights.
Poor thing.
I kissed him on the nose.
Kitten.
He froze.
I could have gone further.
I burst into tears.
Stop.
Stop, Nate. I don’t want to. I can’t.
I’ve cried everything I had. Please — enough.
I got up from the bed
and went to the bathroom.
Kitten, I’m sorry. Please.
His eyes filled with tears.
Nate, “sorry” isn’t enough.
He lowered his gaze. Tears dropped onto the floor.
Sweetheart…
I rubbed my forehead.
Nate, I’m so angry. I’m so angry at you. I’m so angry.
And I’m ashamed — all my prayers were answered, you’re here, alive.
But I’m so angry.
Sweetheart, I—
Silence.
What could he say? Everything was already clear.
Nate, I don’t know how to go on. I don’t know.
Kitten — he held out his arms.
May I?
I nodded.
He hugged me.
I sat wrapped in his arms — devil and angel at the same time.
Everything in me wanted to strangle him, destroy him, erase him from my world.
Why didn’t I marry Jonathan for real?
Why didn’t I choose his calm, grounded strength?
He’s reliable. He’s strong. He loves me so much.
He would have protected me. He wouldn’t have let this happen.
Because you don’t love him — a soft voice said.
I cried.
How hard it is with Nate. How tired I am.
I’m tired of his adventures.
I need earth. Something simple and quiet.
I need routine and predictability.
I’m done with adventures.
I need a stable, calm world.
And Nate — with his restless energy — I don’t know if he would wither in such a world.
Tell him — the soft voice said.
Nate, I’m tired. I don’t want drinking and drifting anymore.
I’m tired. I want to be home.
I want to raise children in peace.
He went silent.
I turned away.
Everyone knew this was the problem.
Nate lives on adrenaline — it’s his air.
But I’m not there anymore.
Sweetheart.
I looked up.
His face turned serious.
I don’t want that anymore either.
I burst into tears.
Don’t, Nate.
I was afraid he’d do anything not to lose me.
But I don’t need a role. I want the real him.
Nate, don’t.
It’s true, sweetheart. I don’t want destruction anymore.
I cried and hid my face in my hands.
Nate, the darkness started changing you.
It was making you not yourself.
He went quiet.
To be honest, sweetheart… I’m not sure I ever was myself.
My whole body went cold. I curled in on myself.
Kitten.
You grew up? — I laughed.
He nodded.
And what if it all comes back again?
He shrugged.
Then we’ll deal with it when it does.
But today—
He stood up and helped me up.
—I’m going to plant carrots.
I laughed.
God, what an idiot you are.
Alright. The carrots can wait.

Sweetheart.
I swallowed hard.
What about Roman?
All my red flags went off at once.
Change the subject. Urgently change the subject.
Hades and Mushu were already pulling each other’s hair.
Uh… Roman… what about him?
Idiot. Why did you even bring him up?!
Leave me alone, I’m already panicking — and now everything inside me started running in circles too.
Kitten.
I squinted.
Nate… you’re not going to yell, right?
He laughed.
No.
Roman’s kind of heading in the wrong direction.
After everything that happened, Roman really went downhill.
Nate went quiet, thinking.
That’s understandable.
Children became orphans at six.
Their world collapsed. They had to grow up overnight.
We exchanged a look.
Sometimes you’d give anything to rewrite the past.
Kitten.
Mm.
We need to deal with this.
Nate, please — just not like this.
Kitten, I’m afraid I don’t have a choice.
Nate—
I’ll talk to the colonel tomorrow.
If I can get through — today.
Pause.
Kitten, if we don’t stop this now, everything will go downhill from here.
I nodded.
Carmen and Rosie are already eight.
I still can’t believe how grown-up they are.
They don’t leave their father’s side.
And he doesn’t leave theirs.
They spent the whole day in front of the TV.
Episode after episode — Wild Africa.
The girls curled up in their father’s arms.
The safest place on earth.
Everything is under protection again.
Dad is home.
He’ll sort it out.
He’ll put everything back where it belongs.
Strangely enough, the kids weren’t angry at Nate.
They were angry at me.
As if I’d deliberately gone crazy
and refused to crawl out of psych wards.
Oh well.
I grabbed some cookies
and stretched out on the couch, legs extended —
Nate immediately pulled them toward himself.
Hooray. Now I’m under his protection too.
Then suddenly everyone rushed in at once — noisy, bumping into each other.
I tried to breathe quietly, not disturbing the peace.
Everyone’s here.
Everyone’s back.
Everyone —
Except…
I looked around.
Where’s Roman?
Maybe he didn’t hear.
Metti, did you call Roman?
He hesitated.
Phil—
Miss—
Oh hell.
I covered my eyes with my palm and pointed at Nate.
Sir, the phone.
Sebastian handed the phone to Nate.
Sir, your son has been arrested.
Nate flushed red with anger.
Kitten—
I was already running out of the room, throwing off the blanket.
I ran as fast as I could.
Sweetheart—
Nate was coming upstairs with a momentum I could feel from a mile away.
Damn, damn. I paced the room.
God, what do we do?
Nate entered the room,
exhaled, and went to the window.
I hesitated.
Nate—
Kitten, Roman’s been arrested.
Uh… yeah. Yes.
So this isn’t the first time? — he hissed through his teeth.
I snapped.
Nate, don’t you dare raise your voice at me.
Sweetheart — he exhaled. That’s not what I meant.
You see, Nate… I couldn’t deal with it on my own — I breathed out.
Come on, Nazokat. Hold it together.
Don’t go there. Don’t start blaming him
You’re above that.
Nate exhaled.
I’m sorry.
I smiled — fake.
He rushed down the stairs.
I lay down on the bed.
No chance.
Father will kill Roman.
But thank God — that’s not my problem.
And I turned on Cinderella.