A soft knock at the door.
I can barely breathe. Dear God — it’s him.
I flap my hands at myself like wings.

“You look like a fool.”
“Yeah, thanks for the support.”

Alright.
“Oh God, I’m running to the bathroom — I need to pee again.”
I’m shaking.
“Oh shut up, I’ve waited for him my whole life — you wouldn’t understand.”
They quiet down.
“Oh damn—sorry, I didn’t mean that.”
Another knock.
“Oh God. Oh God…”
I have to pretend I’m calm.
Hades covers his eyes with his hand:
“i-di-ot.”
Oh for heaven’s sake.
Okay. Pull it together. Pull it together.
“It’s nothing—”
“‘Nothing’? Can you even breathe around him? That man is pure fire.”
“SHUT UP, all of you! I have to look cold.”
I clear my throat, straighten my dress, pretending I’ve never been more composed.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Breathe.
Breathe.
Stop staring at him…

“You look beautiful.”
“Uh? Oh—yeah… uh… you too.”
“‘You too’? Really? Absolute i-di-ot,” Hades wheezes, bending over with laughter.
Ursula elbows him in the ribs.
I thank her silently.

“You ready to go?”
Ready to go? He’s serious.
Walking around here like he owns the place, smelling so intoxicating it should be illegal.
He really plans to take you out like this?
“Oh my God PLEASE shut up already.”
Breathe.
Breathe.
STOP staring at him.
“Sure, we can go.”
“Good,” he steps closer.
All my inner demons sit there with popcorn.
Hades still has his hand on his eyes:
“You’re such an i-di-ot.”
“You’re so beautiful,” he says.
“Yeah… something like that,” I attempt a smile.
Please don’t step closer.
He smooths my hair and presses a soft kiss to my neck.
Quick analysis: heart rate 130–150. Nervous system firing electric micro-shocks.
Frequent swallowing. Mouth slightly open. Dry.
Legs weak. Knees buckling.
Don’t look at the bed.
Don’t look at the bed.
I can barely breathe.
God, those lips…
“Stop staring at him like that!”
“BACK OFF! I’m TRYING! Aaaa!”
They’re all frozen with popcorn, mouths open.
Even Hades is quiet.
He steps even closer.
Oh God.
A wall behind me.
Nowhere left to go.
And he wanted dinner?
The kiss —
sweet, dizzying.
I get so overwhelmed I nearly faint, and he lays me down on the bed, sitting beside me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I wish I were braver, but I can’t breathe when you’re near.”
He listens. Seriously. Fully present.
“While you were knocking, I peed four times. And I still need to. I’m terrified.”
Hades imitates a plane crash:
“iiiiii—BOOM. i-di-ot.”
He lies down next to me and opens a book.
A book… about a bear?
Where did he even get this?
I was so nervous I didn’t see him walk in with it.
He might actually be crazy.
Who knows.
He reads.
I stare.
God, he’s so beautiful.
“That’s not what matters in a man, you know that,” says Hercules’ trainer.
“Uh-huh.”
What’s the book about? I don’t care.
I’m too busy staring at his face.
I could watch him forever.
Honestly, I might break my leg just so he’ll take care of me.
Oh God— I have to pee again.
Half-asleep, I go.
Peeing, thinking:
Wait… this isn’t a dream?
He was reading… and I fell asleep?
Oh hell. Where is he?
He’s nowhere.
A knock.
I jump.
The curtains are closed — could be night, could be morning.
Another knock.
Who the hell—
And where is he?
Later.
Probably breakfast.
Fuuuu.
It is breakfast.
Smells divine.
I bite a pancake, sip juice as I walk.
Running.
Running.
Probably the waiter forgot something—
“Morning.”
I spray juice like a fountain.
“i-di-ot,” Hades sighs.
My inner crew is placing bets on how many minutes until he says he has to leave —
that he wants someone less terrified and less obsessed with him.
“God… sorry.
Your Hugo Boss suit is ruined.”
He laughs.
“With you, boredom is impossible.”
“Seriously? Says the man who dragged a book here yesterday,” Hades mutters.
“Mm-hm,” I add.
“Listen… honestly… I’m not used to this.”
“To what exactly?” His face changes instantly.
Jaw tightens.
Breathing uneven.
Eyes flicker — quick, involuntary.
And quieter than usual:
“You’re not… planning on breaking up with me, are you?”
Quick read: rapid nervous breathing, vein pulsing on his neck, he licks his lips, adjusts his tie.
Ha.
HE’S scared that I might leave?
A tiny firework explodes inside me.
Oh yes.
Oh YES I am that woman.
I grab my eyeshadow palette like a microphone and sing in my head:
“Oooh I can’t belieeeve it—aaaah!”
He shifts from foot to foot, impatient.
Okay. Reality. Now.
“No,” I say sharply, confidently, chin lifted:
I am not the woman who faints at his touch.
“Aha. Sure.
Just don’t come any closer, or I’ll give myself to you anywhere,”
Hades mutters.
“SHUT UP! You’re awful!”
“Pancake?”
“No thanks. What I meant was—
I don’t know how to pretend. I wish I could act cool, but you saw everything yesterday.”
“Right,” he says, trying not to smile.
“Sir. I’m not your cute little hamster. I am a grown, powerful woman.”
For emphasis — I stomp my foot.
Hideously awkward, since I forgot to put on my second shoe.
“i-di-ot,” Hades groans.
“SHUT UP!”
He still pretends to be serious.
His shoulders are shaking.
“Oh you—!” I throw a pillow at him.
He catches it and chases me around the suite.
The place is enormous.
Why do I even have such a mansion-like room?
I hide behind a chair.
“Hee-hee-hee, he’ll never find me here.”
Silence.
I try.
Try.
But nervous giggling breaks through.
“Aaa!!” I scream when he sneaks up on me.
He scoops me up and carries me to the bedroom.
I sit up.
“My darling little hamster. My kitten. Please listen carefully.”
“Mm-hm,” I burst out laughing and sprint into the next room.
He runs after me, tossing his jacket on the bed.
I splay my fingers:
“Bleh-bleh-bleh! You’ll never catch me, Mister Perfection!”
He bursts out laughing.
“Oh really? Come here then.”
“Aaaa!”
Left — he goes left.
Right — he goes right.
I jump on the table:
“Look at me! I’m Mister Perfection! So hot women forget to breathe! My watch costs a fortune! I drive an Aston Martin!”
I mock him until I’m out of breath.
He lifts me off the table and carries me back.
“Alright. Let’s try this again. My little kitten…
I love you more than life. I’d give anything to be as free as you.”
“Really?” I mumble, pancake halfway in my mouth.
“Yes, darling. Truly. You’re the bravest person I know.”
“She?!” Hades drops his cigarette.
“She’s the bravest?! She shakes just opening the door! There are maniacs everywhere! i-di-ot!”
“I don’t know… Ruman and I always get into trouble. And I’m always around food and kids.”
“I would die if you ever changed.”
And I start crying.
He pulls me closer.
I take my juice and pancakes to bed.
He sits beside me.
Winnie-the-Pooh is playing.
“You don’t mind?”
“How could you think that?”
So much for luxury.
Men are strange:
He’s sitting here laughing at Winnie-the-Pooh, shirt covered in pancake stains, smiling with that perfect smile…
He’s so beautiful.
He could’ve picked an actress. A model.
Why me?
His smile spreads wider.
He looks happy.
I go change.
He calls after me:
“Woman… I really love you.”
And I glow, lift my head,
pretending I’m perfectly calm.
That’s what normal people do, right?
Then I go dance and jump in the next room
while the love of my life watches cartoons and laughs like a child.
“Are the jokes really that good?” Hades mutters.
I grab his hands, and we start spinning —
he’s annoyed, but I don’t care.
I’m in love.
I’m happy.
So… where’s my playlist?
Alright DJ — hit it.