Preparing for Autumn
I am sitting on the bed.
Caleb is pacing from one corner to the other.
“Is that all?”
I giggled.
“Well... that’s great.”
Caleb flew into a rage.
“That’s great? That’s all you have to say?”
He hurled the trophy he had won for placing in the competition.
I lowered my eyes and smiled quietly.
Caleb went berserk.
“Am I funny?! Do you think I’m funny?!”
I nodded.
Caleb let out a howl.
He started punching the wall and screaming like a madman.
I kept smiling.
Caleb finally ran out of steam, his fists covered in raw red cuts.
I gently touched my belly and sat down.
Caleb swore.
His eyes filmed over with tears.
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
I smiled.
Caleb snorted.
And he walked out of the bedroom.
4:15
“Sweetheart.”
I rubbed my eyes sleepily.
“Hm?”
“Kitten.”
He gently stroked my hair.
“Forgive me, my little angel.”
I nodded.
“Caleb.”
He walked over to the window.
And I nearly burst into tears.
He could be so cold.
Turning his back on me and staring out the window like a conqueror.
I tried to swallow the hurt.
“Caleb.”
He turned around.
“What?”
“I wasn’t laughing at you.”
“Then why weren’t you impressed by my results?”
Caleb gave a contemptuous snort.
“Because I’m not Nate?!”
My heart turned to ice.
Caleb knows exactly how to hurt me—so deeply, so precisely.
I started to sob.
Caleb turned back toward the window.
“I suppose he’s better. He’s the real conqueror, isn’t he?!”
I looked at Caleb and thought that sometimes I barely recognized him—so cold, so cruel.
It hurt so much.
I had to understand his pain, accept my own, and still be the first to reach out and rebuild the bridge between us, despite how deeply he had wounded me.
I took a deep breath.
And I tried to pull myself together. After all, this was my choice. No one had forced me to be with him or choose him. No one had ever said Caleb was kind and warm. Quite the opposite—everyone had kept shouting, “Think about it. Are you sure he’s the one?”
I took another deep breath.
“Sit down, please.”
Caleb snorted.
“I don’t want to.”
I burst into tears.
So rude. So awful.
And I closed my eyes.
I placed a hand over my heart.
“Mommy, don’t leave Daddy. He needs you, Mommy.”
I smiled.
“Bree. Of course, my daughter. Who else would defend her father the way a daughter does?”
I took a deep breath.
“Yes.”
Caleb looked up.
“What did you say?”
“You heard me.”
Caleb clenched his fists.
“Repeat what you said.”
I drew myself up to my full height.
“I said you were right. Nate is better. He’s a conqueror. He’s stronger. He’s more powerful. Got it?!”
Caleb choked with indignation.
He seized my jaw.
“Don’t you dare speak to me like that.”
I stared straight into his eyes.
Caleb swore.
“You damn brat! How dare you talk to me like that? How the fuck dare you say that?!”
Caleb started smashing everything around him.
“Goddamn you, you fucking witch!”
I stepped closer and grabbed his elbow.
Hades started trembling.
“D-d-don’t touch him. Don’t provoke him.”
Caleb’s eyes were red with rage.
He was on the verge of tears from the pain.
I took a deep breath.
“Are you going to hit me the way your old man used to hit your mother?”
Caleb immediately raised his hand to slap me.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Caleb swore.
And in his fury, he smashed the glass with his fist.
He roared in pain at once.
The glass shattered into tiny pieces, cutting him in a hundred places.
I smiled.
“What are you staring at?!” Caleb screamed.
I scoffed.
“I’m tired of being afraid of you. If you want to hit me, do it now. I don’t want to stay silent when I have something to say, and I don’t want to be with a coward.”
I paused.
“I want your daughter to see who her father is.”
Caleb roared with rage.
He drew back his arm to strike.
And then he immediately collapsed to the floor,
covering his face with both hands.
“I can’t. I can’t hit you.”
“Weakling.”
“D-d-don’t provoke him,” Hades said.
I snorted.
Caleb looked up, his eyes full of tears.
“You’re a monster.”
I smiled.
And I shifted happily from one foot to the other.
“At least now I know you’ll never hit me.”
“A-a-a-a-a-a! What did I do to deserve this witch?!” Caleb screamed into the air.
I smiled broadly and, almost skipping with joy, walked out of the bedroom.
“Y-y-you... you’re an idiot. Such an idiot,” Hades said.
“Ha! At least I’m not afraid of him anymore.”
Hades started tearing at his hair.
“You’re sick.”
I bit into a carrot.
“Mm-hm.”
6:15
I went downstairs to the kitchen.
“Miss.”
I smiled.
“Hi.”
The servants began to fuss.
I lowered my eyes.
“Guys, please, don’t. I just want to make jam with you. I don’t want to be the boss, or some ‘Miss’ everyone has to tremble before.”
I nearly burst into tears.
“Please don’t push me away.”
The chef rushed to hug me, making an anxious fuss in Italian.
I laughed.
And we began putting up food for the cold months.
Pickled cucumbers.
Pickled tomatoes.
Freshly made jam.
Fruit compotes.
Assorted pickles.
Spicy relishes.
Mmm.
Finger-licking good.
I petted the Wolves while no one was looking.
They began nuzzling against my legs.
I smiled.
“You little rascals. I’ll get you some meat.”
They grinned and wagged their tails.
The vampires and werewolves stood quietly in the corner, their eyes lowered.
I called out to the chef that I was going to the pantry.
The pantry was a terribly dark, damp, frightening place.
I called the vampires, the werewolves, the Wolves, and the Light Mages to come with me.
They started frightening me in the dark, and I dropped to my knees, covered my face with my hands, and began to sob bitterly.
The door creaked open, and Caleb appeared.
He dismissed them all with a wave of his hand, not the least bit afraid of their hissing or aggression.
Caleb is calm and composed.
Afraid of nothing.
I smiled in spite of myself.
Caleb silently helped me to my feet.
And we walked out.
Caleb stopped at the exit.
He tossed the treats to them and closed the pantry door.
9:16
I licked the spoon.
Fabio was horrified.
“Miss, mamma mia! Did you just lick that spoon and put it back?!”
I giggled and looked at Caleb.
“Uh... yes.”
Fabio began babbling frantically in Italian,
clutching his head and gesticulating wildly.
I giggled.
And I looked up at Caleb again.
He lightly licked his lips.
My head began to spin.
And I blushed furiously.
I realized that Caleb was hungry, and the pressure radiating from him made the ground disappear beneath my feet.
I was never very good at resisting Caleb.
Even when I’m angry with him or think he’s a pig.
Caleb moved back to the window, then walked out.
12:10
“Miss.”
“Oh!” I woke with a start and cried out.
The maid gently helped me up.
“You’re exhausted, miss. You need to sleep.”
I hugged her.
“Thank you so much.”
We went upstairs together.
And I fell asleep.
12:15 a.m.
I woke, as always, with a single thought.
To write.
Dear God, how badly I want to write.
Caleb is sitting on the bed.
“A-a-a-a-a.”
“A-a-a-a-a.”
“A-a-a-a.”
Caleb frowned.
“Are you going to write?”
I nodded.
And I went to write.
I sit there, thinking.
What a strange man Caleb is.
I giggled. Maybe he is a vampire himself?
Why not? Brooding, always dressed in black.
Tall, handsome, and he doesn’t like the light.
Hee-hee. The thought made me laugh.
“Are you done?”
“Oh my God!”
I jumped in fright.
“Uh... one second.”
I fixed my hair and stepped out.
The dim light made me even more afraid.
“Come closer.”
I swallowed.
“I’m not scrubbing up the blood after he finishes you off,” Hades said.
I smiled.
“Neither am I.”
“Idiot,” Hades said.
I took a deep breath.
And I walked over to Caleb.
“Sweetheart.”
He took a deep breath.
“I...”
A pause.
“I was wrong.”
“Well, I’ll be damned!” Hades lit up. “Go on, baby.”
In a frenzy, Hades circled the date on the calendar.
A second later, he produced a cake and a pile of party blowers.
“Baby, are we celebrating or what?”
I laughed.
“Baby, you can’t let him get away with this! We have to get even!”
Hades appeared beside Caleb with a set of instruments and began listening to his heart.
“Nope. Still alive.”
I giggled.
Caleb moved back to the window again.
“Caleb, I don’t like it when you act as though you’re above me. Please stop doing that.”
Caleb slowly turned around.
My breath caught.
Caleb is so handsome—tall, strong, with breathtaking green eyes.
He took his hands out of his pockets and came toward me.
He cupped my face in both hands and began kissing me.
Well... here we go.
Hades blew out the candles on the cake with a sour expression and lit a cigarette.
I giggled.
Caleb smiled.
And he kissed me even more deeply.
I began to lose myself, coming undone under his touch.
“Caleb.”
He let out a low hum against my ear.
“Darling.”
I pulled away.
Caleb looked into my eyes.
My heart went cold.
If I stopped him now, he would immediately punish me with his coldness, his voice turning icy.
He would make a show of pulling away, and everything about him would say that he was offended.
“Who gives a damn?” Hades lazily tossed a grape into his mouth.
I wanted to straighten up.
To slap Caleb across the face and tell him that this bastard had no right to behave this way.
That I... that I... that I...
I took a deep breath.
Bree.
Oh, that girl.
Her energy was already affecting me, and even though I was only two months pregnant, I already knew this girl was no ordinary child.
“The main thing is not to let that piece of shit win her over to his side,” Hades said.
I smiled.
Yeah... Bree was very much like her father. She was strong-willed, strong, and proud too.
I shrugged.
What could I do?
I love him.
Caleb froze.
“What?”
I smiled.
And I gently pushed him back.
“I don’t want to right now.”
Caleb lowered his eyes and slowly stepped away.
I left the bedroom, unable to bear the atmosphere around Caleb any longer.
The Kitchen
“Miss.”
They immediately began to tremble.
I giggled.
“Ah, so this is what you do while everyone else is busy—you raid the household provisions!”
They turned red from head to toe.
“And now for the wine!” Fabio staggered out of the pantry.
I stand there with my arms crossed.
Fabio swallowed hard and dropped to his knees at my feet, bowing and babbling endlessly in Italian.
I smiled.
And I called the servants over.
“Bring another bottle. This one is terribly bitter.”
“I told you, miss isn’t like that!” Alex cried.
I broke into a wide smile.
“Guys, if you’re going to have a party, let’s take it to the dining room.”
It’s more comfortable there.
The servants exchanged glances.
Then they cheered, tossing their hats into the air.
I beamed, and we all went to the dining room.
About thirty minutes later, Fabio was completely drunk.
“Miss, you’re so wonderful.”
I blushed.
“Why are you...”
He hiccupped.
“Miss, please forgive me, but why are you with someone as grim as Mr. Caleb?”
I smiled.
And I kissed him on the cheek.
“Don’t think about it. Everything is fine.”
As if on cue, Caleb walked in.
The party lost all its color in an instant.
Everyone froze in terror.
Once again, I took a deep breath.
“Keep going without me.”
And we left.
The Bedroom
Caleb went to sleep.
I could not fall asleep at all.
I stared out the window.
The vampires came over and hugged me from behind.
I realized they were apologizing.
I smiled.
“Pickles?”
They nodded.
“Oh, Jesus.”
Hades grimaced in disgust.
“Why is he cozying up to you like that? Count the cats.”
I laughed.
“I bet he’s already eaten two of them.”
I laughed again.
“You’re such a bore.”
Hades grimaced once more.
“At least I don’t fuss over freaks.”
“Just look at those sweet little eyes.”
I smiled broadly, and we went down to the cellar for the pickles.
The moment I touched a jar,
the door slammed shut with a crash.
And the vampires began circling me, ready to attack.
I tilted my head slightly, then laughed.
“Do you want to eat me?”
Their eyes flashed, and they bared their fangs.
I stepped closer and kissed the leader of this strange gang on the cheek.
“Help me open the door.”
I handed the jar to another one.
“You carry the jar. It’s too heavy for me.”
“Dear God, where are your manners?”
They obediently did everything I asked.
We sat down on the terrace.
I broke the bread in two.
Fresh and crusty.
The werewolves began to howl, and I gave them bread and lecho.
The vampires crunched on pickles.
I ate pizza.
It was already 4:15 in the morning.
I was completely exhausted and rested my head right in a vampire’s lap.
Hades grimaced.
“Yeah... by morning, he’ll have eaten the rest of you too.”
I waved him off and fell asleep.
7:15
Caleb came closer.
He gently woke me and carried me upstairs to bed.
Two Days Later
Sam kissed me on the cheek.
I hugged him as tightly as I had the strength to.
Sam shot Caleb an uneasy sidelong glance.
I merely shrugged.
Caleb had changed so much.
He stands perfectly straight.
Almost always dressed in black.
And he speaks only when it is absolutely necessary.
The rest of the time, he remains silent.
Sam shifted awkwardly.
He was still wearing his hospital gown.
I took his hands.
“Darling...” I sobbed.
“Sammy.”
I sobbed again.
“I’ll do everything I can to get you out of here as quickly as possible.”
I hugged Sam and began to cry.
Caleb placed a hand on my shoulder.
I held inside me everything I could not bring myself to say to Sam directly.
It felt as though the bond between us was so powerful that words could taint it—or simply fail to capture its depth.
I wanted to tell him there were no words for how deeply I valued his loyalty.
That Sam had lost his mind when he thought I had lost mine.
How deeply must you love another person to break when you think they may never return?
I cried and cried.
Sam’s loyalty made me believe that goodness demands that we fight for it.
And Sam was living proof of that.
Caleb was rebuilding our finances very quickly,
working as hard as humanly possible.
The guys worked around the clock in the office and the conference room,
without even stopping to eat,
rebuilding every business process.
Caleb had strictly forbidden me to get involved.
Now I had no idea what was happening with the business or how things were going.
But the situation was clearly improving.
Almost the entire staff had been reinstated, and Caleb spoiled me just as he had before, showering me with diamonds and rare pieces sourced from collectors.
Caleb kissed me softly on the ear and walked out, answering a call as he went.
Sam stared at me.
I giggled.
“Mm-hm. Caleb is completely different now. I know.”
Sam smiled.
“You’re glowing.”
I blushed.
“Yes, because of Bree. Caleb has grown up so much.” I sniffled again.
“He loves her so much. He spoils her so much. He buys her anything she so much as mentions.”
Sam grimaced.
I laughed.
“Bree and Caleb have a bond of their own, separate from me. He can hear her, and she takes full advantage of it.”
“I see.” Sam smiled. “How are you doing?”
I shrugged.
I lit up again.
Sam gently stroked my cheek.
“You’re so beautiful. I’m so happy for you.”
I started jumping with joy.
It really does happen—sometimes your loved ones can be just as happy for you as they are for themselves.
Caleb returned.
And he immediately turned to stone.
I hugged Sam.
“Darling, I have to go.”
Caleb helped me to my feet. I kissed him on the cheek.
Caleb blushed slightly, and we left.
3:11 a.m.
“Miss.”
“Miiiss.”
I rubbed my eyes.
“Hm?”
“Miss, you asked us to wake you.”
“Oh, right.”
I kissed Sebastian on the cheek.
“Thank you.”
He lit up.
“Sebastian.”
“Miss?”
“Can you make up an excuse for Caleb?”
He nodded.
I put on a floor-length dress and sandals.
“Miss.”
“Hi, Mikey.”
He offered me his cheek.
And I kissed him.
Then I laughed brightly.
And I wiped the lip-gloss mark from Mikey’s cheek.
“Miss, are you sure?”
I nodded.
The Audi pulled away without a sound.
4:05 a.m.
Psychiatric Hospital
“Who are you here to see?”
I pointed to the name on the list.
“Go ahead.”
Michael came with me.
A German shepherd walked on a leash beside us.
The corridor seemed endless until we finally stopped in front of room 206.
I swallowed.
The door opened. Colin was inside.
My heart sank.
He is sitting hunched over, staring into the corner.
Like a punished animal.
I swallowed, trying not to cry.
“Colin.”
He turned.
His eyes were full of tears.
He immediately turned back to the corner and hid his face again.
“Colin.”
He broke down sobbing.
I realized he could not look me in the eye.
“Mikey.”
The guard put on his headphones.
I stepped closer to Colin, then turned around.
“Let him go.”
“It’s too soon,” Derek said.
I lowered my eyes.
Derek tried to encourage me.
“You know the rules, baby.”
And that seemed more frightening to me than anything else.
When men fall in love with me, they have to undergo a transformation whether they want to or not—and Derek is responsible for it.
He is the unintegrated darkness inside every man who loves me.
I took a deep breath.
“Darling.”
Colin kept crying and crying.
I tried to enter a trance.
The door opened, and Caleb walked in.
I froze in fear.
Caleb stared at me and folded his arms across his chest.
I swallowed.
Caleb slowly walked over to the window and stared outside.
I breathed a little easier. So he was there to protect me.
“All right...”
“Colin, darling, I’m sorry she died.”
Colin sniffed, but he still sat with his back to me.
“She didn’t die. She just left.”
He began to cry.
I forgot how to breathe.
I wanted to hug him.
Caleb turned around.
And I understood that he didn’t want me to.
I walked over to Caleb.
And I shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other.
“Caleb... darling... could... could Jess come here?”
Caleb’s eyes widened.
“No.”
“Please, it’s very important. We’ll tighten security. Colin won’t hurt her.”
The door opened, and Jess walked in.
Caleb flew into a rage.
And he glared at me.
All the color drained from my face.
“It wasn’t me.”
Nate walked in behind Jess.
Caleb took a deep breath and turned back toward the window.
I giggled.
“Nate!” I ran to hug him.
I pulled away from Nate and hugged Jess.
She smiled and went over to Colin.
Caleb turned partway toward them.
Jess wrapped her arms around Colin from behind and began singing him a song.
I sat down on the couch.
Caleb wrapped his arms around me from behind.
I rubbed my nose against his stubble.
Caleb softened a little.
We all listened as Jess restored the maternal part within Colin,
clearing away the trauma of his mother abandoning him when he was a baby.
He cried and cried, calling out for a mother’s love.
And once again, I thought about how idiotic life itself was.
Mothers are the ones who raise an Alpha.
The ones who give him all of themselves, holding nothing back.
And they are still seen as “just mothers.”
It is astonishing how thoroughly the role of a mother is devalued. If the consequences are still visible so many years later, what happens when a mother is never there in the first place?
And I thought about Bree.
Warmth spread through me.
Despite all the horrors,
my children, I hoped, were growing up happy.
Nate was an incredible father. He had always taught them to respect women, respect their mother, and protect her.
Roman had absorbed almost everything his father had taught him. The twins were doted on and covered in their father’s kisses.
He absolutely adored them.
And the girls were growing up wrapped in their father’s extraordinary love.
Logan had joined the family as an adult, but he had still found a real family, and he looks truly happy.
And finally, Bree.
Caleb doesn’t merely love her.
He is obsessed with his daughter.
Day and night, he thinks about her.
His thoughts are always with Bree.
Every second, he thinks about her, communicates with her, and takes care of his daughter.
I wiped away my tears.
While Caleb listened to his own mother’s songs,
I could study him.
I remembered the monster I had first met.
Everyone—absolutely everyone—had told me that no one could be worse, that this man was wrong for me, and that I had to get rid of him as quickly as possible.
I thought about what Caleb had been like before.
I had been terribly afraid of him.
Explosive.
Unhinged.
Twitchy.
And extremely cruel.
Cruelty had always suited Caleb.
A cruelty unlike anything else.
He had been steeped in it.
A nightmare.
I shuddered.
Selfish.
Arrogant.
Rude. Tactless.
Ill-mannered.
Always thinking only of himself.
He would step over, betray, and humiliate anyone he saw no use for.
Caleb could easily have crushed a woman’s heart, burned her soul, and destroyed the very essence of who she was.
Tenderness, affection, other people’s pain—all of it had been foreign to him.
I smiled.
“And what about now?”
“Exactly the same,” Hades said.
I giggled.
Caleb is different now. It’s strange, because he is still Caleb.
And yet he is different.
I don’t even know...
I looked at him again.
He is so beautiful.
And I was overcome by an almost unbearable bitterness.
Caleb’s beauty was its own special kind of cruelty.
Those eyes, especially.
That jaw. Those cheekbones.
Those lips.
His scent.
All of it made women bow
before him.
Made them do anything he said.
Made them fear that he would leave, that he would throw them away like unwanted toys, that he would grow tired of them.
I looked at Colin and Nate.
Then I thought about Caleb again.
What had made him change?
Why had he decided that I, specifically, was worth changing for?
Caleb gently kissed my hair.
“You’re the very best, Kitten.”
I blushed from head to toe.
Damn. He must have heard every single one of my thoughts.
Caleb gently nipped my ear.
“Exactly.”
I stopped breathing.
“Damn.”
Caleb laughed softly.
“You can’t hide from me, miss. I know everything about you.”
