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private correspondence

Safe.

A private thread where love is not enough, because a mother cannot bring her child into a house until she knows the man inside it is safe.

Caleb

Private line

Two days later
Missed call
Missed call
Missed call
Missed FaceTime call
Missed FaceTime call

It’s not only about that...

I can’t relax with you.

How am I supposed to bring Roman if I don’t know whether you’re safe?

Caleb!

You are objectively explosive.
And you’re irritated a lot of the time.

How am I supposed to know that I won’t have to keep security on guard even inside the house, Caleb?

How am I supposed to trust you?

And what if that’s not true?

What am I supposed to do then — walk out in the middle of the night with my child in my arms?

Where would Roman and I go?

Caleb, this is not normal.

It is not normal that I’m afraid of you.

God knows whether passion could turn into aggression one day.

How can you be so sure?

Exactly.

That proves my point.

I can’t do this, Caleb.

Your word alone is not enough.

Yes.

Exactly.

Don’t play the victim.

I cannot just take your word for it.

Yes.

Hoping is one thing.
Knowing is another.

Stop.

I’m a mother.
I’m responsible not only for myself.

Don’t be rude.

Caleb, don’t start.

Yes.

Fine.

If I see that you are actually handling yourself...

I don’t know.

But something has to be done.

It is not normal that you’re such a psycho.

I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean it like that.
Please forgive me.

No.

This is not just your temper.

You are nervous.
You are tense.
You are constantly on edge.

I don’t even want to discuss that, Caleb.

No drugs.
Absolutely not.

Yes.

Maybe that’s part of it.

Honestly, I think you need to move, Caleb.

Caleb, for God’s sake, watch your mouth.

Yes.

I’m serious.

This is not funny to me at all.

I don’t see any other solution.

You need to move, Caleb.

Into your own house.

A place where your nervous system can finally breathe.

😠

Then don’t ask for my advice.

Caleb, I’m already sick of hearing “I’m sorry.”

Just stop messing up.
That’s all.

No.

Don’t.

I don’t want to turn this into a game.

This has to be solved.

Deal with it.

You have to move.

Decide for yourself.

But don’t drag this out.

Deal with it before the end of the month.

Yes.

June 23.

Cancer season.

I don’t know yet.

Without you, I don’t want to celebrate.

And without the boys, I don’t really want to either.

Yes.

Don’t pretend.

Don’t lie, Caleb.
Damn it.

😠

I support him, if that’s what you mean.

😠😠😠

Caleb!

Do not start.

Nate stays anyway.

😠

Not “we’ll see.”

He stays.

Caleb!

I’m tired.

I’m going to sleep.

Fine.

Caleb, I’m begging you.

Can we please stop turning everything into war?

How much longer?

God.

I don’t want to discuss this.

Your war with him has already exhausted me.

Yes.

Exactly like that.

Caleb, darling, please.

I love you.
You know that.

But I cannot relax until I know you’re safe.

Caleb, don’t start.

Fine.

I don’t care what it is.

Courses.
Therapy.
Anything.

As long as it helps.

But the main thing is the move.

Fix your living situation, Caleb.

Later

I didn’t wait for your answer.

I’m very tired.

I’m going to sleep.

Good night.
Sweet dreams, my dear.

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