Untitled · private field note

When family doesn’t leave

I didn’t need a court. I needed family. The kind that stays close even when I am not at my best.

Boys.

😩

Yes, don’t even ask.

I don’t even want to talk about it.

I’m so done with him and his drama.

Yes, I know.
I know.
😩
Don’t start.
Please.
I know it myself.
Yes, I know, boys.
Please don’t.

I need you.

Yes.

I understand.

I’ll think about it.

No.

I hope the storm calms down and he settles.

No.

Boys, damn it, please.

Yes, I don’t know.

I don’t want to destroy everything.

And don’t act like you would be so much better.

You are brave now because you are in a neutral position.

If you were in the position of my man, this situation would not be much easier.

I don’t care.

I don’t want to fight with you too.

But I won’t beg either.

Family · not a court

If you are here, then come closer.

If not, then leave me alone.

I don’t need a court right now. I need family.

The kind that stays close even when I am not at my best.

Even when my choice is under question.

So?

Good.

Thank you.

I don’t care.

Actually, no.

Maybe Winnie the Pooh?

😂

Yes, that bear is seriously stupid.

Okay.

So, the old Winnie the Pooh series.

And food.
Please.
I’m starving.

        And his anxiety has dragged me into eating like crazy again.
      
I swear I’m going to turn round soon.
😩
This damn love.

Boys, let’s eat first.

And then maybe we go somewhere?

Singapore has been calling us for a long time.

Shall we go?

Oh, that would be beautiful.

We’ll get drunk, make trouble, and say the most disgraceful things out loud.

Singapore sends word: they know all the wicked places.

The boys and I exchanged one look.

Well.

Nobody had to ask us twice.

We are in.

So.
I’m in an indecently short mini.
Boys?
In suits?
Really?
Wow.

Beautiful boys in suits.

I’ll shine like a princess.

And then we fly to Egypt?

Mm-hm.

Perfect.

They’ll arrest me there for the length of my skirt.

😂

But you won’t let anyone hurt me, right?

Good.

Then we’ll sit in a cell together.

Come on.

As if it would be our first disaster.

A little scandal, a little cell, a couple of lost days — we’ll survive.

The main thing is to drink enough to sleep through the whole catastrophe.

And then France.

I’ll climb onto your back, and you’ll carry me everywhere.

Yes, yes.

I’ll change the skirt.

Okay.

So, see you soon?

I’m hugging you.

All of you.

Thank you, boys.
For not leaving me alone.