It Is Not an Exam.

Caleb, my love, hello, darling.

I no longer know which calming tea to brew…

Yes, darling, I understand.

But, my love, everything is all right. You will handle this.

I am here.

Sorry, my love, I cannot talk right now.

But I will try to write.

My love, I understand that the texts feel heavy.

But this is not an exam. No one is examining you.

I love you anyway.

God.

Do not say that, Caleb!

No.

No.

No.

Stop it.

Caleb, this is only a matter of growth.

We are all growing here. We are all developing.

God, I understand that you are not “everyone..

But damn it, I am trying to explain that no one is going to examine you.

Truly.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Anyway.

Yes.

Honestly.

God, fine.

Yes.

I will love you anyway.

Yes.

Even if that is true.

Yes.

No, this is not an exam.

The field wants to grow. I do too.

There is a need. And there is room to grow.

That is all.

No one is going to abandon you.

No, my love. No, of course not.

Only growth and development.

Fine.

Then let’s put it this way.

If I wanted to leave you the moment you failed to reach the mark, then let’s look at the facts.

New articles are coming out. New information is being integrated.

Which means this is still not worked through in you.

Which means you are already not reaching the mark.

Do not get angry!

You are the one who wanted me to explain!

Do not dare.

Do not dare, damn it.

I am not responsible for your inadequacy.

And I respect you enough not to lower myself into pity.

Only try.

Again.

The facts are right there.

If I wanted to throw you away at the first fall, it would have happened on the second date.

And now, after all this time, you dare to accuse me of that?

Caleb, do not use my softness.

Yes. This is shifting the weight.

Every time you are angry, hurt, furious, or unable to cope, you throw yourself at me.

As a therapist, I understand the mechanics of this behaviour.

But that does not mean I am going to become your crutch.

You are grown. And you can untangle this yourself.

Yes, exactly.

I want you as a husband. Not as a project.

And not in a lower position.

One thing is to guide. Another thing is to become a container.

Almost a mother figure.

Fine.

But try not to do that again. It is not good.

Let’s talk about something good.

The wedding.

Mm-hm.

The menu…

God, I did not have time to write it.

But the main thing is this: I cannot stand meat.

Not even the smell. Not even the sight of it.

I am very impressionable and squeamish.

The moment I see a dead animal, I start feeling sick.

I cannot stand meat.

Do not be rude!