8:17
I pushed myself up, leaning on my elbow.
Caleb was by the mirror, adjusting his shirt.
I threw my hands up to the sky.
“Thank you, God…”
Caleb looked so good.
So put together.
So sharp.
God…
He turned.
“I need a suit. And new ties.”
“And how is that our problem?” Hades said lazily, flipping through a newspaper.
Caleb raised an eyebrow.
I snapped out of it.
“Oh—you want me to go with you?”
He turned, staring at me like I’d lost my mind.
Oh God…
“Alright, alright.”
I slipped into the shower, already trying to guess what exactly this important ass was going to scold me for this time.
Wrong sandals.
Wrong makeup.
Oh God…
“When are you going to dump him? He’s already getting on our nerves.” — Hades.
“Nate wasn’t like that…” Pocahontas said dreamily.
“Yeah… Nate was different…” I took a deep breath.
I smiled at my reflection.
“Come on, baby… it’s fine.”
I started doing my makeup.
Caleb walked into the bathroom and instantly grimaced.
“Too much makeup.”
“Mhm.”
He was adjusting his cufflinks…
Then froze.
I ran up to him, wrapped my arms around his neck, kissed him.
“My love, I’m going. Whether you like it or not.”
A low growl.
He caught me by the elbow.
I turned.
His hand closed around my neck—
and he kissed me.
I started melting.
Oh my God…
“Yeah… you’d come if he just sneezed.” — Hades.
I stuck my tongue out.
“Shut up.”
Caleb pressed me back against the bathroom…
moving lower…
And I thought—
maybe the Hindus are wrong.
Heaven does exist.

9:27
Caleb and I. Just the two of us.
Monday. A serious day.
All the important asses had scattered off to their business.
I didn’t even get a chance to kiss the kids goodbye.
I looked out the window, touched the frame.
It’s strange…
how people go through the same things, generation after generation.
We raise children…
and then one day—they’re just grown.
It’s beautiful.
And at the same time… it hurts.
Caleb wrapped his arms around me from behind, kissed my neck.
I thought I might faint again.
There was a new scent on him.
God… I have no idea how women at work keep it together around him.
How are you even supposed to think when this important ass is near?
He turned me to face him.
“Baby.”
“Mmm?”
He buried his face in my hair.
I tried not to die from his smile.
Such beautiful teeth…
“Yeah? Maybe fix at least one tooth first.” — Hades.
I blushed.
“I’m scared of dentists.”
“So we all have to suffer because of that?” — Hades.
“My love… I love our family.”
I tensed.
“…but I’m damn glad it’s just the two of us.”
“What?!”
“Caleb!”
I hit his shoulder.
He tossed me over his shoulder and started spinning me around.
“Baby, I love you.”
I flushed completely.
When I was little, I dreamed of marrying a beautiful man…
but those were just dreams.
I never really believed I could be with someone like that.
Caleb lifted my chin.
“My love…”
My eyes filled.
True to himself, he dropped to his knees.
“My angel… did I hurt you? Angel… I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.”
I smiled through tears.
“No, no…
I just think… I wish I was beautiful.”
Caleb froze.
Didn’t even blink.
“My love… you’re very beautiful.”
I blushed again.
“I don’t think so.”
He started pacing, нервный, talking to himself under his breath, like he was arguing inside his own head, throwing counterarguments at himself.
Then suddenly—finger up. Eureka.
I smiled.
“Baby, you’re very beautiful.”
I pretended to believe him.
Inside, I thought—
it’s just luck.
If Caleb didn’t have this personality, girls would be falling over themselves just to touch him.
He looked at me thoughtfully.
“Baby.”
“Hm?”
“You know…”
He blushed. Actually got shy.
“Do you remember when we first met?”
I searched my memory.
“Oh, yes—yes, the bees, that was so cute—”
“No, no…”
He blushed again.
“Before that.”
I narrowed my eyes…
looked down.
I suddenly felt so embarrassed.
“Sorry, my love…”
He shifted awkwardly.
“I saw you with Nate.”
I smiled.
“I see…”
“You were so beautiful. So alive.
When I saw you… my heart just stopped.”
I waved him off.
God, this is so embarrassing.
“Oh, come on… there were plenty of beautiful women at that event.”
He looked at me.
“I thought I would’ve given anything to be in his place.”
I grimaced.
“Caleb!”
“Alright… sorry.
First thing I thought was—I would’ve given anything just to fuck you.”
I burst out laughing.
“What kind of person are you?”
“Baby, you’re so hot.”
He buried his face in my hair again.
“You shine like the sun… I can’t pull away from you.”
I blushed.
“Stop saying nonsense.
Please. It’s embarrassing.”
He pulled me into a dance.
We spun around the living room,
and I laughed.
How did I end up with a madman like this?
Caleb kissed me—deep, slow.
God…
And right then—breakfast was brought in.
I cleared my throat.
Caleb, on purpose, slapped my ass.
I flushed so hard I couldn’t even lift my eyes.
Sebastian quietly stepped out.
And Caleb, clearly pleased with his little act of mischief, sat down to eat
14:21
“This won’t do.”
Caleb was in the chair.
Pure boss energy.
The poor sales assistants were running around like ants.
“This is all wrong! I’m not wearing any of this!” — a thunderous roar.
I stepped out to the restroom…
and heard someone crying.
Oh God…
I carefully pulled the curtain aside.
A salesgirl was crying.
I clenched my fists.
How cruel Caleb is… what a bastard.
“Excuse me… may I?”
She nodded, wiping her tears.
I reached out, touched her shoulder—
and immediately pulled my hand back.
“I’m sorry…”
She gave me a small smile.
“You don’t mind?”
“No.”
I smiled back.
A phone lit up on the table.
I suddenly tasted salt.
Oh…
I blinked — a tear slipped down my cheek.
“I miss my kids too.”
Thank God there’s the kindergarten…
There I can endlessly hug chubby cheeks and kiss little round bellies.
“Are those your children?”
And I instantly cursed myself.
“Yeah… real tactful.” — Hades.
I blushed.
“I’m sorry…”
I stood up.
“I should go.”
She smiled.
“Thank you for the support.”
I shifted awkwardly.
“You’ll be okay?”
She made a face — as if to say, important asses are always like that, and humiliation was just part of the job.
I sighed bitterly.
Then I pulled myself together.
Oh, I’m going to deal with him.
That arrogant, rude, ill-mannered Caleb.
“Sir, maybe this one—?”
Caleb didn’t even look.
He was typing something on his phone.
The suit flew straight into his face.
He dropped the phone.
And instantly clenched his fists.
“What the—”
He looked up.
I was standing there in a salesgirl uniform.
“Well… siiiir… what exactly doesn’t suit you?”
Caleb flushed.
“My love—”
“Go to hell!”
“My love—”
I slapped him.
“Screw your penance, you rude, ill-mannered brute!”
“Baby, please…”
“I’m staying here. Until evening.”
Caleb froze.
“You? A salesgirl?!”
I raised an eyebrow.
“And why not?”
I could see him calculating the losses —
and the blow to his authority.
But I wasn’t backing down.
Caleb leaned back in his chair, thinking.
At that moment, a man walked in.
“Hey, can I get someone over here?”
I tried very hard not to throw the cash register at him.
I forced a smile.
“Hello.”
Caleb turned red.
“I need a dark blue suit and a beige shirt,” the man went on, as if issuing an order.
I suddenly found it hilarious.
“Well, if you need it — go ahead, take it.”
The man blinked.
“What?”
Then he looked me up and down…
and stepped closer.
Caleb was furious.
He got up and immediately stepped between us.
The man snapped.
“Hey, what’s your problem? Back off.”
He tried to push Caleb aside.
Caleb didn’t hesitate — he punched him.
The man went down.
Then got back up — and the fight started.
I stepped aside, lightly playing with the diamonds in my earrings.
All my inner voices were watching the fight.
“This… I could watch forever…”
“No kidding…”
“God… Caleb looks so good when he fights…”
I love it when he fights.
“Baby, that’s not normal.” — Hades.
“Mhm.”
“You came, didn’t you?”
“Mhm.”
Finally, they were pulled apart.
Caleb, furious, dragged me outside.
“Get in the car. Now.”
“I—I, Caleb, I—”
“I said, get in the fucking car. Now.”
Hades crossed himself.
I smiled… raised my hands in surrender.
“Alright, alright…”
Caleb barked:
“Drive!”
Michael started the engine, and the car moved smoothly.
“Happy now?”
“Caleb…”
“Are you happy?!”
I started crying.
“Michael, please stop the car.”
Caleb grabbed my arm.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
I looked in the mirror.
Michael was on high alert.
If needed, he would protect me.
I swallowed and pulled my hand away.
“Stop it. You’re so rough, Caleb!”
He immediately softened, rubbed the bridge of his nose.
He let out a heavy breath.
“You’re right. I’m sorry… I’m sorry, please.”
I cried harder.
“You’re always like this, Caleb…
Why can’t you be gentler?”
“My love…” he muttered through his teeth,
“How am I supposed to be gentle when you pull something like that?”
“What the hell was that?!” he snapped.
I wanted to cry even more.
He was so harsh… so blind to how sensitive I am.
“Michael… please.”
The car stopped.
“Get out.”
Caleb hesitated.
“My love… don’t turn this into a whole scene right now…”
My eyebrows shot up.
“Oh, so I made a scene? I’m overreacting?”
I nodded slowly.
“Right.
As far as I know, that’s exactly what they call abuse.”
“My love—”
“Get out. Get out of the car.”
Caleb took a deep breath… and stepped out.
“Michael.”
He nodded. The car pulled away.
“Michael, please take me to my favorite hotel.”
“Of course, miss.”

00:17
I turned my phone on.
It instantly blew up with calls.
Nearly thirty-one missed calls from Caleb.
I scoffed—
and tossed the phone away.
God, what a bastard this Caleb is.
Yelling, grabbing my elbow,
constantly pulling me back—
I’m so tired of this.
“Well, baby, you shouldn’t have picked an alpha.” — Hades.
I swallowed.
Fair enough.
Whether it’s negotiations or dealing with a woman—
same approach everywhere:
push harder, press through, dominate.
I took a sip of champagne
and put on Some Like It Hot.
I love it.
There was a knock on the door.
I hurried to throw on a robe.
The white silk lingerie was covered by another soft layer of silk.
A waiter rolled in a cart—
loaded with delicious food.
I suddenly wished my kids were here with me…
But the moment I tell them,
Caleb will be the first to know.
I don’t want to put him through that.
He’s probably worried.
I typed a message:
“I’m okay. I just want to be alone.”
And threw the phone away again.
I stretched out on the huge bed,
extended my legs,
pulled the fluffy blanket over myself.
Blini with condensed milk.
A little clay pot dish.
Fresh pomegranate juice. Croissants.
Stew.
Mmm…
So good.
“Yeah… you’ll get fat and won’t fit through the door.” — Hades.
“Fine by me!”

2:17
I ordered another cocktail.
Swaying a little, I turned on the music.
I’m dancing and dancing…
singing with my whole heart and soul—
really, straight from the soul—
loud, full, alive.
A knock on the door.
“Miss—”
“What?!”
Oops—
I almost fell.
“Miss, please turn the music off.”
“Aaaah—”
I slammed the door shut.
What a bunch of killjoys.
And collapsed onto the bed.
8:16
I washed up, took a shower,
and looked at myself in the mirror.
Pull yourself together.
Don’t you dare embarrass yourself.
My reflection nodded back at me.
Michael drove me to the center.
I tried to pull myself together again…
and again…
and again…
The tears started flowing again.
I looked in the mirror.
You don’t have to be perfect.
They’re people too.
It’s okay. Just be yourself.
If they don’t understand — that’s their problem.
I walked in on high heels,
in a soft dress with lilies.
The children ran toward me—
and I instantly broke down.
Right there. In the center.
Children everywhere.
Volunteers.
Mothers with their kids.
I tried to breathe,
just so I wouldn’t fall apart…
or die right there.
The tears kept coming…
and coming…
and coming.
Such a simple kind of happiness…
for a child to be able to hear.
For those tiny ears
to hear their mother’s voice.
Oh God…
I kept crying and crying.
God… mothers don’t need much.
Just for their child to be healthy.
That’s all. Just that.
I sat in the corner, trying not to draw attention.
I love dressing up…
but here—everything felt like too much.
The heels were too loud.
The dress was too loud.
It felt like a mockery—
of women in simple sweaters and pants.
I tried to hold myself together.
I’m not doing anything wrong.
It’s okay. It’s all okay.
Finally, Sam came out.
He kissed me on the cheek,
hugged me—
and started crying.
We just stood there,
crying, holding onto each other
so we wouldn’t break from the pain…
from that unbearable pain.
Children… children are suffering.
They don’t run.
They don’t play.
They don’t laugh.
They’re sick.
Oh God…
The door opened.
Caleb walked in.
I straightened up.
What is he doing here?
Caleb. Nate. Jonathan.
Josh. Aaron. Cody.
All of them.
I stared at them.
Caleb immediately started giving orders.
I gently moved Sam aside,
raised an eyebrow.
He just spread his hands—
So he gave me away.
Sam smiled.
My boys rushed in right after,
nodding at me in passing.
Medics.
Surgeons.
Dentists.
Nurses.
All of them.
My boys are here.
Oh God…
Even the politicians looked sober for once.
Behind them—Hollywood.
Military.
Men with weapons.
Arabs, Indians, Jews, Armenians…
Oh God…
The center filled up in an instant.
I noticed Caleb looked exhausted.
He clearly hadn’t slept.
And he was worried about me.
But in public—an alpha is an alpha.
Clean-shaven.
Sharp.
Collected.
Orders—short and precise.
The medics were getting ready for surgeries.
I prayed.
I was so drained
that Sam had to sit me down in a wheelchair.
I kept watching…
and watching…
My God…
Caleb is magnificent.
Surgery after surgery.
I prayed to the spirits for my boys—
how do they even hold it together?
Rooms kept filling and emptying—
children before and after surgery.
I didn’t know how to breathe.
Mothers were sobbing, uncontrollably.
Everyone was terrified—
will it work?
will the boys manage?
“Psst—”
Josh pulled me aside into a corner
and handed me a flask.
I laughed softly and took a sip.
Hollywood didn’t even bother hiding it—
drinking right there, next to the kids.
I grimaced.
Some people never change.
And then I laughed again.
Surgery after surgery—successful.
I prayed to the spirits again.
Oh God… oh God…
Thank God they’re here.
My boys are saving the world.
“And what about the commander?” — Hades.
I smiled.
From across the room,
Caleb was staring straight at me.
I blushed under his gaze.
He started walking toward me—
but got pulled away.
And someone called me.
We went in different directions.

6:17
I can barely stand on my feet.
The boys are still operating—
one after another, like an endless stream.
I prayed.
I can’t believe these are my boys.
These men are my heroes.
God… how proud I am of them.
Caleb hasn’t slept—
all night commanding, keeping everyone in line.

9:17
Finally, the flow was over.
The children were in their rooms.
I just passed out on my feet.
Leaning against the wall—
and I fell asleep like that.

11:17
Beeping.
Again.
I rubbed my eyes, confused.
What’s happening…
“Sam—
not now…”
God…
“Nick?”
He was running somewhere too.
I grabbed someone from the staff.
“What’s happening?”
“A child’s heart stopped.”
My legs started shaking.
I fell.
I fell and started crying,
covering my face with my hands.
Please God… please…
take me… I’m begging you… not the child.
Please…
take me instead.
Don’t take the boy.
Don’t take him.
I’m begging you…
I’m begging you…
I kept crying and crying.
The boy’s mother—
in intensive care.
Exhaustion.
Breakdown.
Pull yourself together.
You have to help.
I nodded.
Like a robot, I walked to the restroom.
Washed my face.
Fixed my hair.
I pulled myself back together.
Closed my eyes.
They’ll save him…
they have to…
everything will be okay…
everything…

13:56
I’m standing like a soldier.
Everything inside is dead.
I don’t know how to breathe.
Only one thing in my head:
Hold on.
Hold on.
No one knows when the surgery will end.
No one knows.
Oh God…
People walked in, fully suited up for surgery.
I swallowed.
They brought organs.
I ran to the restroom—
and threw up.
Oh God… God… God…
For organs to arrive…
someone had to lose them.
I collapsed onto the floor.
My whole body started shaking.
That means…
some child died.
Died.
Oh God… oh God… oh God…
My body went into convulsions.
My eyes rolled back.
Foam at my mouth.
I was hitting the floor in spasms.
A child died.
A child died.
God…
God…

A week later
A week later, I came to.
I opened my eyes.
Damn… it’s bright…
So bright…
God…
I spat out blood.
Medics rushed in immediately.
I looked at myself.
“Guys… it was just a faint… I’m fine…”
Oh my God…
Bones.
Just bones.
I had wasted away.
Bones sticking out.
Hips.
Ribs.
Hands.
My legs were just bone.
My God…
Is that me?
I touched myself.
I tried to smile—
and passed out again.

**The next day…
and the day after…
I still wasn’t coming back to myself**
“Hi…”
“Hi…”
My aunt poured tea.
“Am I dead?!”
“Not yet.”
I narrowed my eyes.
She exhaled heavily.
“You have to live with this.
The boy died.”
“No… no… no… no… no…”
“No. No. No.”
I shook my head.
Something inside me snapped.
“No, you’re lying.
No—he’s alive.
No. Children don’t die.
No, no, no—”
She looked at me with quiet grief.
“He died, Nazokat.”
She placed her hand on my shoulder.
“They tried.
They didn’t give up.
But the boy died.”
I went still.
“I see…”
“I… see…”
And then I broke.
I burst into tears.
Then rage hit.
I started destroying everything around me.
“I begged Him! I begged Him—
take me! Take me instead, damn it!”
I dropped to my knees, sobbing uncontrollably.
Children don’t die.
Children don’t suffer.
Not children.
Not children.
Please… anything but children…
I cried and cried.
My soul is shattered.
My heart ripped out
and crushed—
by the sheer indifference of this world.
This is it.
This is the world we live in.
Oh God…
I couldn’t stop crying.
The boy died.
A child died.
How do you live after this?
How do you even go on living?
A month later
“You need to eat.” — Nate.
I sit there, face empty.
“I don’t want to.”
Nate rubbed his forehead.
He’s one of the few who still puts up with me.
Caleb is strictly forbidden.
He’s not allowed anywhere near me.
If he comes close, I’ll tear him apart —
and they’ll lock me up again.
Only Sam.
Only his authority made it possible for me to stay home.
I hated power.
I hated my boys.
They all failed me.
With their cars, their yachts, their clothes—
they’re guilty.
With their power, their money—
they should have done more.
Saving children.
They should have.
They’re men.
They’re supposed to protect the world.
Damn it, they should have given everything to those children.
Not blow hundreds in restaurants.
They should have saved them.
I started crying.
They failed me.
They failed the world.
A child died.
And these bastards only care about themselves—
cars, houses, women—
what a bunch of fucking bastards.
Nate dropped to his knees in front of me.
“Nazokat… if you die, how does that help?
How?!”
He was hitting the bed with his fist, crying in desperation.
“It’s my fault…”
“But for what? For what, God, for what?!”
“I didn’t protect him… I should have protected him…”
“Children can’t die…”
“They can’t, Nate…”
Nate hugged me
and whispered:
“You have children too.”
It felt like ice water poured over me.
Damn.
He’s right.
My body jerked—
and I snapped back for a second.
Serves me right—
“Aah—”
I collapsed.
Nate broke down, crying.
“You’re so weak you can’t even walk…”
“Shit…”
“Fine. Bring the food.”
Nate froze—
“You’re serious?!”
He wiped his nose,
and suddenly I noticed how he looked.
Oh God…
He looked just as bad as I did.
I shook my head.
“Not now.”
“Yeah…”
“Nate…”
He turned.
“Did the kids see me like this?”
He shook his head.
“No.”
“Thank God…”
“Come on, Nazokat…”
“You can’t bring him back. The boy is dead.”
Tears started falling again.
“You loved him, even if you didn’t know him.”
“But I did know him. I knew him…”
“Little Jacob…”
“So sweet… always laughing…”
“Or… he used to…”
I broke down again.
Pull yourself together — мозг.
I straightened instantly.
Get it together.
I forced myself to think.
Hands.
Yes… hands.
Hands behind my back — direct command to the body:
I lead. I’m in control.
The tears slowed. Then stopped.
I started thinking again.
Yes, Jacob is dead.
Yes, even with inhuman effort, children still die.
There is evil in this world.
And you can’t change that.
Come on, Nazokat…
What matters is—we helped.
We did help.
How many of them can hear their mothers now?
How many hearts are beating because of us?
We did so much.
Jacob won’t be forgotten.
You will keep living — and carry him in your heart.
You have to pull yourself together.
And keep carrying this world forward.
This is not the time to fall apart.
Get it together.
Silk lingerie.
Stockings.
And for God’s sake—just go get fucked already.