At last — Tuesday.
On Tuesdays I’m always at Earth Angels.
Formally, I’m supposed to teach math.
But out in nature it’s so much fun that the kids and I end up going very far away from math.
Out on the little meadow behind Earth Angels there’s a whole bunch of suspects.
“Katty?” I narrowed my eyes.
She lifted a huge magnifying glass.
She, Philip, and Andrew were completely focused.
Somewhere among the big chubby caterpillars, Mr. Pickles had to be hiding.
Mr. Pickles called us and informed us that he needed help.
He had a fight with his wife, Mrs. Pickles, and now she refuses to speak to him.
This is a serious case.
So we came out here to help.
“Cameron?”
“Reporting, miss.”
“I laid out cabbage and a giant potato all around.
Mr. Pickles will definitely come out.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“And where are the strawberries?”
“Children?”
I looked at these shameless creatures — every single face showing clear signs of the crime.
“Children?! Where are the strawberries?”
Everyone burst out laughing.
“Oh that’s it!”
I pounced on Cameron and started tickling her.
Then Philip.
Andrew. One by one.
The kids started running.
“Hey! Stop right there!”
We started throwing whatever we could get our hands on.
Little stones.
Leaves.
Berries.
Anything suitable for such an active shoot-out.
And then Caleb arrived.
Everyone immediately straightened up.
I smiled sadly.
There it is — the power of important asses and the consequences of influence.
All of my little ones have very, very important-ass parents.
Everyone knows what it means when their father walks in.
What a nightmare.
I shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other.
“Darling… let’s step aside.”
Caleb was in a suit.
I swallowed.
“Uh… don’t mind it. The kids just aren’t used to all these suits when we’re having lessons out here.”
Caleb pretended to believe me.
“Listen… I was thinking.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“Yes?”
Caleb nervously adjusted his suit.
“Could I… join you?”
My eyes nearly popped out of my head.
“Alright, forget it,” Caleb said, turning away.
I immediately got angry at myself for being tactless and rude.
“Darling!” I ran after him.
“Darling, I’m sorry, please. It was just unexpected…”
“I would be very”
I started bouncing up and down,
my curls bouncing along with me.
“I’d be very, very happy if you joined us.”
Caleb smiled.
“Alright.”
“Darling, but you’ll need to put on shorts.”
“What? I have never worn shorts in my life, and I’m not starting now!”
I started laughing.
Good Lord.
Caleb is such a grown man, but I see this all the time.
The boys at the preschool do exactly the same thing —
they stomp their foot and cross their arms over their chest.
I kissed him on the cheek.
“Please, Caleb.”
He looked at me reluctantly.
I stuck my lips out in a little pout.
My big brown eyes were shining, and the blush on my cheeks made me look even more innocent.
Caleb sighed.
“Fine.”

Fifteen minutes later Caleb, like a four-year-old having a meltdown, was stomping toward us in a very displeased mood.
I bit my lip so I wouldn’t smile.
After all, Caleb is an Alpha.
He’d kill me if he caught me looking at him like he was adorable.
“Sweetheart, today I’m on kitchen duty.”
Caleb swallowed.
I smacked his arm.
“Hey! I cook well!”
“Right. That’s exactly why the staff keeps you far away from the kitchen.” — Aide
“Get lost.” I kicked him.
“Ahem.”
“So, what are we cooking, kids?”
“Pizza!” they all shouted together.
“Piiiiizza!”
“What? Are you serious? No soup?”
“Ewwwww no! Let’s make pizza!”
I turned to Caleb theatrically.
“Sir, would you be so kind as to prepare the dough?”
“Of course.”
And he picked Philip up and set him on the table.
“Anything else, miss?”
“Yes, tomatoes please.”
He seated Katty and Cameron next to him.
“Anything else, miss?”
But the kids were already shrieking and running all over the kitchen so we wouldn’t catch them.
I screamed,
“Oh my God, sir! The ingredients are alive! They’re alive!”
Caleb immediately started a proper chase for the supposed ingredients.
Eventually everyone ran out of steam.
And we started cooking.
It turned out Caleb actually knew how to cook.
I pretended to be very busy and didn’t cook at all.
All my attention was on Caleb.
He was playing with the kids.
And I thought to myself that he would make an excellent father.
Good Lord… who would have thought.
I gave a small smile.
And tears started running down my face.
“You see, Nate… they’re in good hands. Don’t worry.”
“Well, that clearly helped,” - Mushu 

“Oh, shut up.”

“Ahem.”
Ever since Nate left to get treatment,
I’ve been thinking about it all the time.
Did I fail him?
Because Roman, Karen, and Rosie
are not only my children.
They are our children.
I was afraid he might be angry.
That he might think I had simply thrown him away.
That thought made me terribly sad.
Sometimes I hate myself for this.
I cannot order Nate not to love me.
But I also don’t want to go back to him.
I’m with Caleb, and I’m satisfied with my choice.
And still, sometimes it all feels strange to me.
Why do I have to suffer so much for my own desire?
Do I really have to be punished
just because I chose Caleb?

For a while I kept trying to explain to myself that Caleb was better… because…
But then I thought — what difference does it make?
Why do I even need a justification?
Just to calm my conscience because I made a decision that was close to my heart?
And suddenly I straightened up.
A strange sense of pride rose inside me.
I stepped outside for a walk.
So this is how it is, Nazokat.
You didn’t stay and put up with it.
You chose yourself.
I started crying.
But those were tears of release.
Something inside me shifted softly.
I chose myself.
Nate is a great guy,
but I didn’t want that life anymore. I wanted something different.
And I met Caleb.
I felt so proud of myself.
On the one hand, of course it hurts the children when their beloved parents are no longer together.
But on the other hand — didn’t I show that I didn’t abandon him?
That I’m still here?
That I didn’t erase him from my life?
Isn’t that an example of how people should end relationships?

“Good Lord, how long do I have to listen to this whining?” Aide rolled his eyes.

“ You’re such a jerk.”

“Get lost. I’m thinking.”

“Yeah.” He walked off into the room, scratching himself as he walked.

I laughed.

“Good Lord, that’s disgusting.”

“So…”And besides — would the children really be happy if they saw that their mother was unhappy?
What kind of example would that be for my children?
That you must endure a marriage no matter what?
No.
I did the right thing.
And suddenly I felt so light.
So free.
People like Nate aren’t the kind you divorce.
He’s an excellent husband and a wonderful father.
But as we already know… I’m from a different world.
So maybe I’m allowed to.
I went back to Caleb.
“Darling.”
I hugged him tightly.
“Sir, I’m damn lucky to have you.”
Caleb was touched.
I held him even closer.
“My beloved… my beloved… the most beloved man in the world.”