Kendrick Lamar — Money Trees feat. Jay Rock

“Damn,” I said, lighting a cigarette.
— Guuuys…
Hades and the Devil showed up like they’d been summoned.
— Guys, I’m freaking out.
— What happened, woman?
The Devil crossed one leg over the other.
I burst out laughing.
— Damn, with legs like that you’re not seducing me.
He looked offended.
— What a faggot. — Hades said.
And we burst out laughing like idiots.
Like always — whenever some kind of shit is happening in my life, I start laughing.
Like really laughing.
— So what’s going on with you?
Hades wiped tears of laughter from his eyes.
I took a drag.
— What could it be, guys?
— Men again?
— The farmer?
— Yeah.
— What about him?
— I think Caleb is suffering because of his father.
— What? He shows up here like peaches in March.
I smiled.
— Guys, I’m serious.
— Jesus, so what about him?
— Pffff.
— I think Caleb is thinking about forgiving him.
— Yeah? And the mother what, a grocery bag? Whoever passes her around gets her?
I sighed again.
— I don’t know, guys. She’s lost. She doesn’t know herself at all. And these two are trying to divide her between them. At least someone would ask what the mother herself wants.
— Exactly.
And we bumped fists.
— Guys, is there any whiskey?
— Yeah.
I drank a shot.
— Damn, you’re such a guy.
I let out a burp.
And we burst out laughing again.
— Guys, I love you.
— Yeah, too bad we don’t love you.
I shrugged.
— Well, that’ll be a lesson for me.
And I took a running start and slammed into Hades.
He fell and started pounding the ground with his fists like a child.
Me and the Devil in the ring.
He’s on his hooves.
I’m in jeans and a top.
— Come on. Attack.
He charged.
I aimed, quickly pulled out a gun and fired.
— You bitch! That’s not fair!
I laughed and started shooting point-blank.
— Okay… thigh.
Ribs.
Collarbones?
— Anything else?!
— Fuck you!
— Yeah.
And I walked off with the gun.
How did it even happen, Nazokat, that you chose Caleb?
I shrugged.
— God knows.
But that guy really means a lot to me.
— Hm. Alright. Let’s move on. What about his father?
I grimaced and rolled my eyes like teenagers do.
— Ugh.
— He wants to forgive him.
I don’t like that.
It’s like a glitch in the system.
Like when a guy spends thirty years in prison because seagulls shit on his lawyer’s glasses and he missed the details in the case.
And then they go, “Oops, sorry.”
Yeah — except the time is already gone.
It’s the same here.
Even if Caleb’s father apologizes… how do you forgive everything he did?
— Maybe it wasn’t seagulls.
— What?
— Maybe it wasn’t seagulls that shit on the glasses.
I laughed.
— Yeah… maybe.
Everyone understood the question isn’t only about Caleb’s father.
The question is about me.
About the fact that I personally wouldn’t forgive it.
But Caleb and his mother aren’t me.
Maybe they’ll find the strength.
I shook my head.
Damn. Even if that’s true… how do you know she actually forgave him?
She’s the victim.
She thinks like a victim.
She doesn’t see the real picture.
Her psyche is broken.
— And?
— He’s trying. That man is trying.
— I’m against it.
— Why?
I kicked the ground.
— Ooooh, I get it.
— Leave me alone!
— Ooooh.
They started teasing me.
I took a drag on my cigarette and a tear rolled down my cheek.
— Maybe I’m jealous of him.
My eyes darkened.
I started acting like a kid — kicking the ground, stones, whatever I could.
Everyone knows where it hurts.
We never had a family like that.
Yeah, Caleb’s father is a bastard.
His mother is wounded, and it’s not even clear if she’ll recover.
And Caleb himself looks more like a bag of problems than a person.
But still…
If his father really changes,
and his mother heals…
he’ll have a real family.
— So?
— Nothing, damn it.
I started crying.
— Damn, is she on her period or something? Why are you so nervous? — Hades said.
Tears were streaming down my face.
— Guys, this isn’t funny.
— Alright.
They hugged me and I leaned into them, taking the warmth.
— What are you going to do?
I took a drag.
— The same thing I always do.
Help him fix things with his parents.
— He’ll leave you.
— Yeah. Most likely.
I kicked a stone.
Hades started crying.
— Why does it always end like this?
I shrugged.
— That’s how therapy works.
These guys are used to taking.
And when there’s nothing left to take, they move on.
— What about love? Gratitude?
I laughed.
— I don’t call them bastards for nothing, guys.
These guys are wired for advantage.
Things like that are hardly familiar to them.
I took a drag.
— How are you?
A tear rolled down my cheek.
— How do you think I am, guys?
They hugged me again.
I walked along, kicking a stone.
And then the wolves came out.
I completely broke down.
I bowed to the pack leader.
He laid a dead squirrel before me.
I dropped to one knee.
— Guys… you’ll be there when he does it.
The wolves lowered their heads.
I fell down on the ground and lit another cigarette.
We passed the cigarette around.
Hades.
Me.
Mushu.
Pocahontas.
The Little Mermaid.
Jafar.
We started making fun of Jafar.
— Hey man, how’s your beauty doing?
He grimaced.
Everyone burst out laughing.
— Man, what a girl you picked.
He hissed.
Ursula, his beloved.
— Hey, don’t the tentacles get in the way? — Hades said.
— Or her face, for example. — Mushu added.
Everyone burst out laughing.
— Man, she’s huge. — Mushu said.
— But she’s well-groomed. — I said.
— Yeah, with that much makeup.
— With makeup like that you don’t even need a lighthouse. Any ship will find the harbor.
We were dying laughing.
Jafar just lay there with a stone face.
— At least she’s got boobs. — Hades said.
— And Jafar here is quite the groom.
— Why’d they kick you out of Agrabah?
He hissed like a snake.
We instantly jumped back.
— Whoa, whoa, relax. Big deal. A kid outplayed you.
— Hey, where’s the lamp? — hahahaha.
Everyone started laughing again.
Mushu suddenly made a serious face.
— Listen… how does your LADY even fit in there?
No matter how you look at it, you can’t shove a tank through a crack.
— Man, that’s not a girlfriend — that’s a battleship.
And we started laughing again.
After a while we finally ran out of breath.
Everyone was lying there smoking.
— Hey! — Hades suddenly jumped up.
— What if Caleb doesn’t leave us?
I took a drag.
— Well… then there will be love.
But I don’t know, guys.
That bastard only loves himself.
— Nah… he’s changed. You can see it.
— I don’t know, guys. Time will tell.
— What about the kids?
I waved it away.
— I’m trying to keep him away from them.
— ?
Mushu passed the cigarette.
— I don’t want them to get attached and then he chickens out.
— Damn. — Mushu jumped up.
— That guy may be anything, but he’s not a coward.
I shrugged.
— Guys, a coward isn’t always that obvious.
Sometimes a coward is the one who keeps putting off the thing he knows he has to do.
That’s cowardice too, guys.
— Damn, but we’ve got plenty of men around.
— You’ll find another one.
I sighed.
— It’s not that simple, guys.
And we bumped fists.
— You going?
— Yeah… I guess I am.
— What, the pit bull’s waiting?
— Yeah.
I took a drag.
And walked off.
It was already 4:15.
The light was on in the dining hall.
Damn.
Now I’m definitely in for it.

Dining hall
— Honey.
I sighed.
— Caleb, let’s do this later. You’ll still have time to lecture me.
— Look at that, we’re actually tolerating being lectured now. — Hades muttered.
— No kidding.
— Honey, please.
I sighed even deeper.
— Hold on. — Hades bumped his fist into mine.
— I’m listening. — I said.
— Honey, I worry when you leave like that.
I rolled my eyes.
— That’s who I am. I need to be alone and think. Otherwise I can’t function.
He nodded.
— Do you think I’m going to leave?
I froze.
Damn.
It was so unexpected I didn’t even have time to put my mask back on.
Damn.
— Why would you think that? — Caleb asked.
I smirked.
— Because that’s how people are. They take what they need and move on.
He brought a finger to his chin.
— What if not everyone is like that?
— I haven’t met any others.
He stepped closer.
I stepped back.
— Don’t.
— Honey, I’m not planning to leave you.
— Whatever you say.
— I’m serious.
— You don’t know that. Life throws all kinds of situations at you.
— Maybe. But I intend to spend the rest of my life with you.
— Is he threatening you? — Hades asked.
I couldn’t help smirking.
— That’s sweet.
He lowered his eyes.
— Can I go? — I asked.
— Of course. — Caleb said.

I went upstairs.
And collapsed onto the bed.
— Why are you doing this? — Pocahontas asked.
— Like you don’t know.
We know psychology. I’m pushing him away before he gets the chance to hurt me.
— You’re doing it wrong.
— Yeah, I suppose that’s true.
— But why?
— I suppose my psyche likes suffering.
When things go the normal way, like they do for regular people, we get lost.
Hades raised an eyebrow.
I continued reluctantly.
— I’m scared.
— What? — Hades said.
— You heard me. I’m scared, okay? I don’t want all that crap with a broken heart.
Hades shoved me.
— Coward.
I shoved him back.
— Fuck you!
— Fuck you, you cowardly bitch!
How do you teach others when you piss yourself at the thought of love?!
— I have my reasons, got it?!
The argument got louder.
— “I have my reasons,” — Hades mocked me.
— You jerk.
I kicked him.
He fell.
— You’re a coward!
He has his reasons too, but he chooses love!
I burst into tears.
— So what?! Maybe I’m not as brave as Caleb, so what, damn it?!
— Idiot.
— Asshole.
He punched me in the face.
I spat.
— Asshole.
And tackled him.
We started fighting.
The Devil pulled his underwear off and started waving it like a flag.
I burst out laughing.
— Damn, you idiot.
Hades started laughing too.
We wiped the blood away and made up.
— Sorry. — I said.
— You too. How are you? — Hades asked.
— Like absolute shit.
And we bumped fists.

I went down to the dining hall.
Caleb was there.
His face buried in his hands.
Damn.
— Looks like you hurt him. — Hades said.
I sighed.
Sometimes I feel like I’m more of a guy than a girl.
— We were just hurt.
— True.
I stepped closer.
And swallowed.
I remembered myself back in school.
— You have to apologize!
— I don’t want to!
— You have to. You shouldn’t have said that!
— I don’t want to!
— You have to.
— Aaaaaah!
— Come on, you can do it. — Hades said.
— Fine.
I touched Caleb’s shoulder.
An exam for years… for millennia ahead.
A test of my trust in the world.
One single gesture could decide everything.
— Caleb… I’m sorry.
He jumped up and hugged me.
— Looks like our farmer’s a soft one. — Hades said.
I stood there like a robot, arms at my sides, having no idea how to react.
— Wait, I’ll take a picture. Damn, you’re such an idiot. — Mushu said.
I flipped him off.
— Caleb…
— It’s okay, honey. I know you’re scared.
I was stunned.
God, sometimes Caleb surprises me.
— Yeah, looks like he’s not that dumb after all. — Mushu said.
I nodded.
— So he didn’t reject us, huh? — Hades said, already wearing his rotten little grin.
I smirked.
— Looks like someone’s going to have to trust after all…
I swallowed.
— Oooooh, you’ll have to trust! — they started singing.
— Oooooh, you’ll have to truuuust!
I burst out laughing.
— You bastards.
Caleb turned around.
— Honey, who are you talking to?
Hades and Mushu were dying laughing, mocking me.
Hades made a stone face.
Mushu hugged him.
— Look, I’m a robot. I’m such an idiot — I understand other people’s feelings but I’m completely nuts myself. — he said in a robotic voice.
— Hahaha!
I grimaced.
— Screw you.
— Honey…
I sighed.
— I hear voices. I see spirits. I talk to them and laugh.
— I see.
I lowered my eyes and awkwardly rubbed my thighs.
— I love you, baby.
I smiled.
He looked at me more closely.
I forced the words out.
— I love you too.
Caleb burst out laughing.
I smiled.
And he pulled me into his arms.
A tyrant slowly becoming a man.
A man learning how to love a woman.

9:17
I took a deep breath.
— Hey, you’ve got a stick up your ass. — Mushu and Hades were teasing me as hard as they could.
— Yeah.
— How are you?
— Like shit.
They patted my shoulder.
— Caleb.
— Hmm? — He lifted his head.
— Let me go with you. — I swallowed. — I’ll take a look at the situation. We’ll check if he’s really changing.
Caleb nodded.
— Honey, I want you to smile with real happiness — and Jess too, of course.
But I’m asking you not to believe in a fairy tale too soon.
I don’t trust Caleb’s father for a second. Why would that bastard suddenly change so easily?
There’s also male psychology involved.
Any man gets lost when his stability collapses.
He might simply be thrown off balance.
He wants his power back.
And once the sheep are back in the pen,
the farmer will close the gate again.
I sighed.
Still… it’s only a theory.
I’m not completely sure.
I don’t want to destroy Caleb’s hope ahead of time.
I pulled myself together.
— Honey, you managed to change. Maybe that bastard—
ahem — I cleared my throat — sorry.
Maybe your father can change too.
Caleb nodded.
— The main thing is wanting it… but let’s not celebrate too early.
Let’s rely on facts.
Caleb was sitting there like a schoolboy.
Just sitting and listening.
I smiled.
Caleb has changed so much.
He’s completely different now.
I looked him over from head to toe.
Damn. With all these therapy sessions I never really had time to look at Caleb himself.
The stylist did an excellent job.
Wow.
Caleb looked absolutely amazing.
So handsome.
So well-groomed.
He always smells good.
— Not like you. Damn, flies would drop dead from your smell. — Hades said.
— You bastards. — I laughed.
Caleb was clean, fresh.
The suit.
The haircut.
God, Caleb is handsome.
My heart clenched.
This guy means so much to me.
I can’t believe he’s trying so hard for me.
Tears started running down my face.
Caleb jumped up.
— Honey
I buried my face in his chest.
— Will you hold me? I’m so tired.
Caleb nodded.
I lay down on the bed, and Caleb wrapped his arms around me from behind.
His whole body against mine.
Warm. Strong.
It felt so good that he was here.
That he was beside me.
I wasn’t alone.
I fell asleep immediately.