The woman comes home from work.
She’s crying.
Oh shit.
Oh no you don’t. Staaay right there.
I grab Alpha by the scruff of his neck.
He pretends he’s never seen this woman before and urgently needs to relocate to another city.
Ah-ah-ah.
Alpha.
Come on, brother. This isn’t our first rodeo.
Alpha puffs up.
“She’s a woman. I’m a man. You hear me? Men don’t cry.”
Oh really?
Like that time we found out your best friend was getting married?
Or when we watched that video about the guy who rescued that little orphan monkey in a tiny diaper — and she carried around a stuffed monkey to comfort herself because she thought it was her mom?
Want me to keep going?
Alpha waves me off.
But he’s still here.
Balls in place. Let’s move.
We have to comfort her.
When a woman cries, panic mode activates in Alpha’s brain.
That little grasshopper in his head starts smashing every button.
Ducks are shitting all over the place.
Even the cat stops licking his own balls.
Mobilization mode.
The grasshopper, in full panic, immediately pulls up every compilation of naked girls he can find.
Which doesn’t help at all.
Well… hold on.
Alpha calms down a little.
Naked girls, after all.
The grasshopper looks at me with reproach.
I shrug.
Who knew, brother? Who knew.
I slap Alpha across the face.
Damn it, pull yourself together.
Alpha’s about to pass out. He’s in bad shape.
The only thing that might help now is a cheer squad.
Of course, of course. We all understand — this isn’t easy.
Korean beauties in short tops are pouring water over themselves and giggling.
Oh, Alpha’s already feeling better just watching.
He’s almost ready to resurface.
Wait. Hold on.
The girls start a pillow fight.
Yeah… Alpha decides it’s still too early. He needs a little more “support.”
We stand there.
Waiting for Alpha.
Oh. Much better now.
What?
A little more?
Alright. Alright.
Now?
Alpha nods.
Hey. I said Alpha nods.
No, Alpha is not kissing the beauties.
I grab him by the scruff again.
No pulling them by the skirts.
Alpha, get it together.
Good. We’re surfacing.
The woman’s crying. She needs him.
Yeah, she’s not some unfortunate Korean girl from the cheer squad — but it is what it is.
Alright.
Alpha pulls her into his arms and holds her tight.
Keep the dick out of sight.
Cross your legs if you have to. If she sees a hard-on, we’re dead.
She’ll cry even harder.
We comfort her.
Put on that sad puppy face.
Oh, oh, poor you, poor thing…
Alpha has no idea what’s going on.
In his head there’s that stupid commercial jingle playing and those girls in the water.
Water running down their tops. Nipples hard.
But we’re comforting. Comforting.
Through tears she tries to force the words out.
We roll our eyes.
But the second she looks at Alpha — boom.
Instant diaper commercial face.
Like the mom leaving her baby.
Cruel woman.
Cruel.
We sincerely regret that… that… that…
Hell if we know what exactly — right now the main thing is to stay in character.
The woman gradually calms down and tries to explain what happened.
We’re not thinking about how we’re starving.
Or that tomorrow there’ll be even more crap to deal with than yesterday.
How is that even possible — Alpha works his ass off.
And the crap just keeps piling up.
How the hell did Sam buy himself a new Dodge?
Damn, yesterday he was whining about drowning in debt.
“Baby, are you listening to me?”
I slap Alpha.
Come on, man. Pull it together.
He tries.
He really does.
But that video was so damn funny.
Seriously — can dwarfs actually dance like that?
And at the end one of them fell…
Alpha’s holding on by a thread.
Somehow we manage not to burst out laughing.
The woman says something about work.
That her boss is a real asshole.
Alpha thinks, well damn, I’m a great boss though.
Hell yeah. For sure.
Click.
I’ve got the telescopic baton out.
Alpha snaps back to reality real quick.
Now we actually listen to her.
Alpha’s holding it together — he pinched his own ball while trying not to burst out laughing.
Good. Excellent.
No giving advice.
No.
We just listen.
Alpha’s almost crying from pain.
His ball cramped up. It hurts like hell.
The woman’s in shock — he’s so deeply moved by her problem. Oh wow, how sensitive he is.
Great. The ball’s turning blue, but if it recovers, sex later will be legendary — she’ll be grateful.
Alpha’s thinking the ER might be the better option, otherwise someone’s about to become a one-ball man.
The pain’s so bad he can barely breathe.
The woman is stunned — wow, he’s so tender, so empathetic.
He’s actually crying.
Yeah. So “moved.”
Finally the pain eases a little. Alpha exhales.
She’s shocked, doesn’t know what to do with herself. Who would’ve thought he’d turn out this sensitive?
Uh-huh.
In the end, she’s so happy he listened to her.
He actually listened.
Didn’t make it about himself.
Oh, she’s so relieved.
So happy.
Yeah, yeah.
Alpha pulls her in for one last hug.
She asks if there’s anything she can do for him.
I’m still standing there with the baton.
Alpha waves quickly.
“No, no, baby. I’m good.”
The woman heads upstairs.
Nice. Now we’re alone.
Click.
The telescopic baton never fails.
Step closer.
Come on.
And then — we cut to the panda scene.
Because brutality doesn’t pass censorship.
Key point:
You have to listen to the woman.
Nod.
Keep holding her.
Physical contact is key.
Don’t offer solutions unless she asks.
If she’s just venting — that’s normal.
It means she’s handling it. She’s just sad and needs her Alpha.
That’s it.
If it’s something serious —
Damn, that’s a whole different list.
I’ll write about that later.
Don’t panic, guys.
If it were serious, she would’ve said so already.
Everything’s fine.
It’s just sensitivity. Just emotions.
All good.
https://youtube.com/shorts/p_RikgCeKUw?si=af2E2Ac3qC5DJE7a

Boys, look at this.
https://youtube.com/shorts/vpvlAsLR88w?si=LsKAUhq2Nvw_XdYo


Yeah, boys — that’s our vibe.
https://youtube.com/shorts/saH055Q4AFA?si=0xAZp37St5SNCxix