I smiled at my reflection in the mirror.
Adjusted my dress.
And was about to go to sleep.
You’re cosmic, baby — Hades.
Exactly.
But suddenly I got unexpectedly playful, put in an AirPod — and off I went.
I started dancing like a crazy person.
The Devil grabbed my hand,
and we started spinning.
I was out of breath from dancing, from laughing, from being alive.
Pocahontas, Mushu, Ursula, Quickie, Mulan and Shank sat in a circle, clapping to the beat.
And suddenly I remembered moments with my aunt.
How she taught me traditional dances
so I wouldn’t forget my roots.
How I tried to understand exactly how to move —
where softer, where sharper,
where the eyes, where the shoulder.
No matter how hard I tried,
my relatives could still feel it —
I wasn’t quite one of them.
They understood: I hadn’t grown up with them.
I’m from Russia.
And there’s a Russian spirit in me.
Despite my background.
I was smiling.
I hope they never find out what I was up to as a teenager.
And in the end I laughed so hard.
Hades and Mushu were dancing, and I was smiling and whistling.
Guuuuys, come on!
I thought about men.
About boys.
How I love boys.
Before sex, of course.
When their thoughts are still clean, when they’re such idiots.
Always coming up with something, always being idiots.
It’s so fun with boys.
They never get offended.
You can do something disgusting and they’ll still love you.
You can kick him so hard his snot flies out —
and everyone just bursts out laughing.
With girls you always have to be very careful.
You can’t really joke like that.
But with guys —
the spirit opens up full throttle.
You could run.
Scream.
Kick.
Shove.
And if I broke my leg, it would be one of the boys’ fault.
I remembered all the boys I used to be friends with.
Though every single one of them was in love with me.
I laughed.
Damn, I’ve never been able to just be friends with guys.
Well… as long as they don’t actually say they love me, I can pretend we’re just friends.
I felt a little sad.
I didn’t do it on purpose, but damn — how many boys’ hearts have I broken?
I remember their faces when I shake my head.
I don’t love you.
I’m sorry.
And thank God boys are boys.
They wipe their nose and off they go again.
No drama.
What could be better?
God, even now.
All these lawyers, doctors, businessmen.
Oh my God.
Guys used to follow me in packs.
Thank God I’m with Caleb.
He’s such a pit bull they’re afraid to even breathe around him.
I laughed.
God, what a psycho.
The way he lost it when the salesman touched me.
Oh my God.
It was so funny. What an idiot.
He’s a salesman — what else is he supposed to do?
You have to try the bracelet on somehow.
There’s no way to fasten it without touching me.
Caleb was mad as hell — red, teeth clenched.
How that guy didn’t shit himself — Hades.
Oh, he did. That kind of smell you don’t mistake for anything — Mushu.
I laughed. God, you’re such pigs.
And the way he loses it over Jonathan and Josh — Hades.
Exactly.
I laughed.
What an idiot.
And that guy in the parking lot.
Right.
And I doubled over, dying of laughter.
Poor guy.
He tried to make a joke. He thought I was alone.
Caleb was running late.
As soon as he saw him,
his nostrils flared.
Angry like a bull.
Oh God.
I immediately jumped into the car.
I’m not dealing with him.
Save yourselves.
Are you afraid of him? — Hades.
I showed with my fingers — just a little.
I laughed.
2:16
Caleb burst in, stumbling and knocking everything over — drunk and God knows what else he was on.
I dragged my eyes open.
— Oh my God, Caleb…
He grabbed me by the legs and pulled me off the bed.
I burst out laughing.
— You idiot, what are you doing?
Caleb could barely stand.
I smiled. Even in that state he was damn handsome — messy hair, an angry squint, shirt twisted, belt half undone.
I looked at the clock.
— Oh my God, you need to sleep.
Caleb focused hard, trying to unbuckle his belt as if it were the most important operation of his life.
I was completely entertained.
— You can barely stand, idiot. How are you even planning to pull this off?
He hiccupped.
I froze.
— Oh my God, you’re about to throw up.
I narrowed my eyes, calculating the distance to the bathroom.
Caleb blinked. Focused. And for a second it seemed like he sobered up a little.
He straightened up. Slowly. Almost ceremoniously.
Took a step toward me.
Swayed slightly.
— You… — he started hoarsely.
I crossed my arms over my chest, barely holding back laughter.
— What?
He tried to stay serious, but his face betrayed him, spreading into a stupid, drunken smile.
— You… are very beautiful.
He leaned on me
and started pressing my hands to the floor.
Caleb! Stop.
His hands slid lower.
I love you, woman.
I narrowed my eyes. Something wasn’t right.
Caleb?
He went lower.
I love you.
I love you so much.
And at some point I found myself hugging this monster.
His head buried in my hair.
Caleb sobbing uncontrollably.
His body shaking.
He kept repeating over and over:
I love you.
I love you so much.
My heart tightened.
Oh my God, even bastards like that can love.
Not to distract you from, uh… — he poked Caleb with disgust — from this, but you should decide: is he a bastard or your beloved?
I’m afraid, my friend, right now it’s the same thing.
And we bumped fists.
I stroked Caleb.
He lifted his head.
I love you, darling.
And he tried to kiss me.
I pushed him.
You reek of whiskey.
I’m not going to kiss you.
Yeah, reeks like shit — Hades.
Caleb hiccupped.
And Hades stepped aside.
I laughed.
What a coward.
Caleb fell down and started sobbing again.
Why don’t you love me?
Why?
I rolled my eyes.
What an idiot.
I carefully lifted him and tried to carry him to the bathroom.
God, he’s so huge.
Caleb hiccupped, and it seemed like he was about to throw up.
I undressed him and helped him get into the bath.
Come on, darling, you need to sober up.
I was afraid to put him to bed.
I had a suspicion Caleb wasn’t just drunk — he had taken something.
3:01
I lightly tapped Caleb’s face.
Darling, wake up.
Sam is here.
Come on, man, what do you say?
Sam lifted Caleb’s eyelids.
His pupils had rolled back.
Fuck.
He had definitely taken drugs.
I cursed.
Sam, what are we going to do?
We clean him out. There’s no other option.
I exhaled
and took his hand.
Please tell me this is a one-time thing.
Sam shook his head.
We need to run tests.
But I’m sure this isn’t the first time.
I see.
I wiped away a tear.
Sam hugged me.
I completely fell apart.
I felt like an idiot for getting involved with this jerk.
Ready?
Yes.
We started turning Caleb over.
Damn, wait.
I hesitated.
Sam understood everything.
Call someone from the staff.
…
I went downstairs
and went for a walk.
What do you think? — Hades.
I threw the ball to the dogs.
They all rushed forward.
I don’t know.
Damn.
I lit a cigarette.
Tears were streaming down my face.
Do you think it’s only about them?
I gave a weak nod.
Almost certainly.
The drugs are what give Caleb that wild edge.
Without them, he’s completely different.
I stopped and called out into the air.
The spirits appeared.
The wolves surrounded me.
My pack.
I started crying
and dropped to my knees.
Damn. Is this me?
This is my fault.
The wolves just closed in around me, forming a tight, protective circle.
There was no answer.
I lay down on their wet fur.
Guys, why do I always have to be the one pulling him out?
Can’t I just meet a man I don’t have to drag out of shit?
And could you even be with a man like that? — the Shaman asked.
I shook my head.
Of course not.
What a stupid question.
You were born a healer.
You’ll always be a healer.
That’s how I’m wired. If I don’t save him, I don’t know… I don’t know what happens.
The Shaman nodded and let the smoke swirl in a circle around us.
I leaned toward the scent.
The wolves tensed, warning me.
I told them it was fine.
They sniffed me.
Then the trees let out a howl, and I dropped to my knees again.
He appeared.
The one who always wants to own me.
I sighed, exhausted.
Leave me alone.
I love you.
And I threw up.
The wolves ate it.
They protect me.
If the darkness gets hold of it, it will restore it and use it against me.
Show him.
He gave a crooked smirk.
I twisted in disgust.
I will never be yours, you freak.
Why are you like this, darling? We were so good together.
I stood up and grabbed him by the throat.
I said no.
Either do what I told you, or go to hell.
Remember when you were just a little girl—
Shut up. I’m not little anymore.
I shook my head.
He released a cloud, and my body arched. I collapsed in chains.
That bastard is recreating my childhood.
My room.
I’m very small.
Sitting there, playing.
And my uncle walks in.
I shook my head.
Get away from me.
I remember everything.
I grabbed him by the throat.
I’m not a little girl anymore.
You bastard, give me what I asked for right now, or I’ll throw you into the fire.
Alright, alright.
He pleaded.
I took the herb wand and the sacred wood from the Shaman.
I spun it, and the cloak became bound.
In rage, he started spitting fire.
I straightened up.
I’ll throw you into the bonfire, you freak. You’re useless.
He caught fire in the flames, dying in pain and screaming obscenities.
The twins appeared.
What do you want?
We’re ready to serve you.
Show him.
My eyes darkened.
The wolves held me back on a chain and growled.
They protect me so the darkness won’t try to take part of my power again.
I wiped away a tear.
Thank you, guys. Thank you.
The twins wrapped me in smoke, and we descended into the lower circles.
The stench was unbearable.
The ghosts of wolves were with me.
Chains clanged.
I walked slowly.
All around — freaks.
People with twisted faces.
Rapists.
Murderers.
One of them tried to touch me.
The alpha tore his throat out.
I threw him a piece of meat.
Thank you, my friend.
And we moved on.
The Supreme One stood with his back to me.
I gasped for air.
Recognize him?
I shook my head, trying to clear the fog.
How about now?
He shifted forms.
First Jonathan.
Then Nate.
Now Caleb.
They all do that — stand with their backs to you, staring out at a huge window.
He burst into a deep, rolling laugh.
Idiot.
I spat.
You can’t take their souls completely.
Your influence has limits.
Really?
And what about this?
He showed me Nate — broken, clutching his side.
My heart tightened.
I could kill him easily. He’s such a weakling.
Rage surged through me. I grabbed him by the jaw.
Don’t you dare talk about him like that, you freak.
As you wish, kitten.
He switched to Nate’s voice.
Something snapped inside me.
I lunged at him and started choking him.
I’ll strangle you, you fucking bastard.
The alpha wolf yanked me back.
I straightened up.
Right.
I shook my head.
Not the time for emotions.
Pull yourself together — brain.
I nodded.
Understood.
The wolves finished devouring the bastard’s body.
I threw them fresh meat.
The pack tore into it greedily.
I walked on.
The darkness turned into light.
The Black Mamba.
I nodded and dropped to one knee.
The snake bit me in the neck.
I screamed in pain.
The angels appeared almost immediately.
I exhaled.
You passed.
Sit.
I obeyed.
What about Caleb?
He has a lot of problems.
You’d be better off leaving him.
I nodded.