A vast estate.
The house is never empty — it lives its own life: through smells, sounds, the silence tucked into corners, and the excessive bustle in the kitchen.
The Beast is lazy, slow to move. He doesn’t care.
He sleeps peacefully, wrapped in a soft, fluffy blanket.
Someone laughs in the distance.
A door slams somewhere.
Footsteps run up the stairs.
The staff rushes about.
Earth Angels buzzes with children’s voices.
People. Rhythm. Movement.
Everything breathes.
Everything is happening.
And still — I am lonely.
A strange kind of loneliness.
As if you’re standing in the middle of a crowded square,
and no one ever touches you.
People.
Hey — people.
I’m right here.
But the crowd keeps moving.
Miss Invisible.
And suddenly it feels mockingly funny.
A little sharp.
Almost tender.
Nate and the boys left for a week.
And — surprise —
I had to stay behind with Nazokat.
I swallowed hard.
Not with the house.
Not with the people.
Not with the business.
With her.
I stay on the bed a little longer.
I breathe in.
Slowly.
Like before stepping into cold water.
In moments like this, I usually want to sleep it away.
Rewind.
Wake up — and voilà, everything is back in place, everyone is here, all of mine.
And honestly, I probably will.
Just… a little later.
But now…
Now I’ll try to get up.
Not for victory.
Just —
to try having breakfast with her.
Sit across from her.
Look.
A deep breath.

The living room
Breakfast is served warmly, gently.
No fuss.
No questions.
Just the familiar gesture.
I cut my food into small pieces and look out the window.
The yard lives its usual life:
the space holds, the world doesn’t collapse, everything stays where it belongs.
And suddenly I want pancakes.
And beets with garlic.
Sebastian bows obediently.
Not a trace of surprise.
I set aside the fresh juice and the carrots —
and I like it.
This small, bodily I want it this way.
I want it, I want it —
blah-blah-blah.
I tease myself.
Set the napkins and cutlery aside
and walk up to the window —
exactly the way my boys always do.
Strong.
Tall.
They don’t look out the window out of curiosity.
They check their territory:
is the world standing at attention,
or does it need instructions today?
Lords.
Rulers.
I took a bite of the bun
and gave the rest to Rufus.
He was sitting beside me — as composed as a dog missing his owner can possibly be.
I scratched him behind the ear.
— Yes, sweetheart… I miss them terribly too.
And there I am, standing by the window.
In a little pink robe.
In pajama pants.
Chewing.
Just chewing.
Am I a lord?
I don’t know.
A ruler?
No. Not that either.
So who am I then?
Nazokat.
A wife.
A mother.
A human?
That’s right.
— What are you planning to do?
— I don’t know yet, — I shrugged.
— Let’s think, — Hades sat down across from me.
Calmly. Without pressure. As if he had the whole day.
— A bun?
He refused.
Of course.
— Suit yourself.
— Want to lie in bed all day?
I slowly shook my head.
— No.
I’ve outgrown that.
Maybe later.
Right now… right now I want to go out into the world.
He choked.
A rare occasion.
I looked back at the horizon.
Something really was happening there.
Not an event — movement.
Like a shift in the wind that the skin feels first,
and only later do the flags respond.
— Yes, — I said almost to myself. — Definitely. A new transit.
The words landed calmly.
Without mysticism.
Like a fact.
I need support.
Inner. Quiet. Like the right frequency.
I closed my eyes and switched on my theta waves.
Not “to escape.”
But to gather myself.
Theta waves are powerful —
a surge ran through my body instantly.
The power returned to its keeper,
and God bless AirPods.
— What will you start with first? — Hades asked.
My gaze went out of focus for a second.
As if someone turned down the sharpness of the world.
— First I’ll assemble my form.
— Huh?
— I need to change.
I don’t want to die morally while my people are away.
Hades gave a brief clap —
not loud,
just enough to make it clear:
the sarcasm was directed at my mental abilities,
not the situation.
But I didn’t laugh.
He cleared his throat.
Pulled himself together.
— Can I come with you?
I looked him over slowly.
From head to toe.
Without haste.
And smirked.
— Are you afraid of me when I’m serious?
— Yeah.
And we went down the stairs.
— Miss, your breakfast is ready.
A pause.
Right.
I had completely forgotten.
— Let’s do it later.
The girl paused delicately, almost imperceptibly,
and I smiled lightly —
without a role, without distance.
— Kitty? — I called her again.
— Yes, miss.
— Please bring pancakes and tea upstairs.
— Of course, miss.
— Thank you.
She bowed and was about to leave.
— Kitty?
— Yes, miss?
I looked at her a little longer.
The girl flushed.
— You’re very beautiful.
And we went on.
In the bathroom, I laid out my makeup, tea, and pancakes.
I opened some lady’s video — she was actively applying foundation, and it was running down her face in streams.
But the lady insisted it was a natural effect.
Maybe…
I turned toward Hades.
He, Mulan, and Pocahontas had all taken their seats, each in front of their own mirror, and were diligently — almost studiously — copying the lady from the video.
“So this is what naturalness is called now,” he grumbled.
“They used to burn people for this. Or at least exile them. But times change.”
Then he leaned a little closer to the mirror.
“The main thing is confidence. If you apply it with doubt, it’ll be a disaster. If you apply it with conviction — it’s a trend.”
The foundation ran again.
Hades nodded approvingly at his reflection.
“If it runs, it’s alive. Everything that doesn’t run is dead. Logical.”
Mulan worked quickly and precisely, as if carrying out a combat mission: no unnecessary movements, minimal emotion.
Pocahontas, on the contrary, applied it softly, almost tenderly, as if speaking to her skin.
At first, I was taken aback.
Then I covered my mouth so as not to disturb the atmosphere.
“And what are you, the expert here?” Mushu snapped, vigorously applying blush to his cheeks.
“Oh no, no, I didn’t mean to offend anyone.”
And I barely held back a laugh.
As soon as the makeup was finished,
I moved into the wardrobe — or rather, marched there as if on a drill parade.
Easy, easy, I told myself.
Everything’s fine.
Everything’s okay.
“Yeah right, the last time we heard that, we were taken to the other side. Remember?” Mushu said.
“I remember. But we’re not the same anymore,” I said calmly.
And I found myself laughing again.
There it was — the power of the environment.
Calm and collected — like Nate.
“Yeah, that guy is definitely influencing us,” Mushu said.
And my heart gave a small twinge.
I miss them terribly.
“But I’m here,” Nazokat said.
I took a deep breath.
That’s true.
So. The wardrobe.
“You’re too responsible,” Mushu said.
“Maybe. But I believe I’m holding his trust.”
He rolled his eyes.
I smirked.
It was about the clothes.
I was going to take the dogs for a walk in the forest, and if possible, pull the kids out so everyone could run around among the trees.
For that, I needed boots, pants, and a coat.
“What do you think?” Mushu asked.
“Hmm. A difficult choice.”
Coming back to responsibility —
Nate never said it directly.
Jonathan never said it directly.
Josh never said it directly.
Matty and Phillip never said it.
Even Roman never said it directly.
But I knew.
Just like you know a child is coming down with something, even if they insist everything is fine.
I knew they loved me beautiful.
It’s surprising, but all my men
love beauty — and I couldn’t blame them for it.
And I couldn’t refuse them.
Beauty is like air to them.
If the others simply liked seeing me that way,
then for Nate —
for Nate, I considered it almost my responsibility.
“Poor, unfortunate little beauty,” Mushu grimaced.
I hugged him.
“Maybe you’re such a grump because you lack love.”
He seemed to relax a little.
And even gave me a compliment.
“You really are beautiful,” Mushu said.
“Thank you,” and I kissed him on the cheek.
For the staff, for investor conferences, and for everyone who, in one way or another, came into contact with Nate,
I was always his pride.
I knew he was proud of my beauty.
And it felt to me like I was supporting his power and status —
so people could see that Nate had a worthy wife.
“You’re very old-fashioned,” Mushu said. “Besides, we’re not his extension. We’re strong. We’re not an accessory to Nate, and anyway—”
“Easy, easy, sweetheart. No one is humiliating us.”
He snorted anyway.
“You’re still very old-fashioned.”
I spread my hands.
“Guilty.”
The walk
The dogs burst out as if they’d never been walked in their lives — scattering, diving into the snow.
I lit up.
How wonderful it is to be free and happy.
“Hey, guys!”
I threw them a stick, and all five rushed after it, stumbling, colliding, gently biting at each other — clumsy, heavy, joyful.
St. Bernards are so funny.
So awkward.
I walked alongside them, sipping whiskey from a flask —
true to myself, once again in a skirt and a fur coat.
“Miss—”
I turned around.
Sebastian was hurrying after me.
“Miss, please, take this.”
He held out a thermos with hot tea.
Oh.
I suddenly teared up.
“Thank you, Sebastian.”
He blushed and quietly stepped away.
“How sweet,” Hades and Mushu murmured, dabbing their eyes with handkerchiefs.
It really was touching —
to think of me, to worry that I might get cold, to take care.
How touching.
“Maybe it’s because you keep handing out bonuses for no reason,” Mushu muttered.
“Stop it, please. Not all people are rotten.”
He fell silent.
“You mean not as rotten as him?” Mushu nodded toward Hades.
I lowered my eyes.
No words were needed.
We walked on in silence.
Listening to music.
And then I started to dance.
I’m coming out
I’m coming
I’m coming out
I spun around,
and a couple of tears
slipped free.
How much I miss my own.
Nate.
How much I miss him.
*There’s a new me coming out and I just had to live
And I wanna give, I’m completely positive
I think this time around, I am gonna do it
Like you never knew it, oh, I’ll make it through

I took a sip of the tea, and warmth rushed through my whole body at once.
So good — roses, lemon, ginger, all together.
I noticed the tears again.
It was probably Sophie who gave them the recipe.
How nice it is when people remember such small things about you…
The walk was over.
I returned to the estate,
and the smell almost knocked me off my feet.
I was completely chilled to the bone and went to wash my hands,
trying very hard to breathe slowly and evenly,
but the tears were pouring down in a steady stream.
“Hey, you deserve this. You take care of them too,”
a gentle voice said.
I smiled and wiped away my tears.
In the living room, the table was set.
And not with what they usually serve.
It was manty.
Real manty.
I started crying the moment I walked in.
The staff stood in a line.
I went up and hugged each of them, one by one.
“Thank you so much.”
I kept crying and crying.
“Miss…”
They were glowing, proud of the effect they had created,
and then, bowing slightly, they quietly stepped away.
I sat down to eat.
Manty is not just a dish.
It is my home, my small world —
the place I fall into when I am already in despair.
Making manty is incredibly hard.
It takes an unbelievable amount of time and effort.
And there was my favorite kefir with red pepper,
Korean-style carrots,
and napa cabbage.
I broke down again.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
“Sebastian,” I called the butler.
“Miss.”
I wiped my tears with a napkin.
“Please…” — I blushed. —
“If you’re not too busy, could you eat with me? I…
I don’t want to eat alone.”
And the tears burst out again,
flowing and flowing, beyond my control.
And Sebastian quietly put his arm around my shoulders.

The staff sat down at a huge table, and the fireplace brushed everyone’s cheeks with pink.
Men and women ate with appetite.
I also had to feed the dogs —
they never miss their chance.
Sebastian gave the dogs a stern look,
but I persuaded him to soften up.
Thankfully, there were plenty of manty.
We chatted about the garden, about flowers, about what still needed to be done to prepare the estate for spring.
And the cooks shared funny moments —
how children run into the kitchen, steal something, and then blame the waiters:
Where did the carrots go? Where’s the bread? It was just put here!
An argument breaks out:
Who took the carrot?
Who took the carrot?!
And I smiled.
The wine flowed like a river,
and laughter warmed the day.
The warm conversation lasted until evening.
And then it was time to go to bed.
I kissed everyone on the cheek
and went upstairs to the bedroom.
I hoped to fall asleep before Nate called,
so I wouldn’t cry through the whole conversation again
and wouldn’t think about how much I miss him.

Day two
I felt a little more energetic in the morning,
and I seriously started thinking about what to do.
“Maybe swimming?” Pocahontas suggested.
“Yeah, sure — throw her into an ice hole like a fish. It’s winter!”
Mushu twirled his finger at his temple.
Pocahontas snorted and flicked him with the tips of her hair.
I wanted to buy a new little teapot.
“Guys, how are you?”
Everyone nodded, satisfied.
I sat down at the mirror to do my makeup and fix my hair.
My phone buzzed.
I miss you terribly — Nate.
The tears streamed again.
I picked up the blush brush.
It’s okay.
It’s okay.
He’ll be here soon.
Come on, hold it together.
He’ll be here soon.
So.
I took a deep breath.
I wiped away the tears.
Come on, Nazokat, don’t fall apart.
He’ll come. Just a little longer.
A deep breath.
“The teapot shop?”
Everyone nodded.
I dressed in a wool skirt and a jacket with fur.
Diamonds in my ears, a watch on my wrist — the same diamonds, my favorite watch.
“Mike.”
“Miss.”
He greeted me and opened the door.
I got into the back seat.
“Where to, miss?”
“To Perry Polanni.”
“As you wish, miss.”
I walked into the shop, and the saleswomen, instantly reading every sign of wealth, rushed toward me.
I stopped breathing —
that kind of attention made me uncomfortable.
“Can I help you, miss?”
“No, thank you. I’ll look on my own.”
“Of course, of course.
But if you have any questions…”
I smiled, trying not to look at the accordion-like crease on her forehead, oddly gathered only at the edges.
“Well, if you’re going to do it, you might as well inject the whole forehead,” Hades muttered.
I sighed.
“It’s her choice. Don’t be rude.”
The teapots looked like something out of a fairy tale.
It was impossible to decide.
My eyes jumped from one to another.
And then I saw a green one.
The saleswoman caught on instantly.
“Oh yes, miss, you have such rare taste.”
“Yeah, sure,” Mushu crossed his arms.
“Shh,” I said.
“Tell me more about it.”
And she told me where the teapot was made, by whom —
the master, apparently, was blind.
The story mesmerized me.
How could a blind man create such delicate work?
“For that price, the old man could pretend to be deaf too,” Mushu muttered.
I laughed.
“Oh God, what kind of person are you?”
“But there is one issue,” the saleswoman continued.
“There’s a small chip — either at the bottom or somewhere on the side.”
“For that price??”
Hades and Mushu stared, not believing their eyes.
I laughed.
“Guys, I can’t believe it myself.”
But with love, as always, it’s either there or it isn’t.
The others didn’t interest me.
My soul had made its choice,
and the mark fell on the little green teapot.
“I’ll take this one.”
I tried to get up from the chair that had been so thoughtfully placed there.
“Miss—” the saleswoman panicked.
“Maybe you’d like to look at a few more?”
“Yes, perhaps that pink one too.”
She lost the power of speech.
“But, miss—”
“That one is for my daughters.”
“Miss—”
I started to get irritated.
I hate it when something dense and unresponsive wastes my time and energy.
I already said I would take these—
“Miss, maybe you should look again?”
“No. I’ve decided. These — period.
Please pack them.”
The saleswoman froze, then immediately obeyed.
Thank God.
“Mike, take me to my favorite restaurant.
The one that… the one there… where… God…”
He nodded.
I laughed — of course he knew exactly which restaurant I meant.
The administrator greeted me like family, and I sat down at a table in the back.
Lunch hour brought in a whole pack of prey.
Well-off, groomed men flooded the restaurant.
You could practically smell it on them:
I made money this year…
It made me uncomfortable.
The women gathered right away.
“Don’t you want to pick someone too?” Hades asked.
I waved it off.
Did I blame those women?
Honestly — no.
Who doesn’t want a good life?
And those men clearly could provide one.
And what’s wrong with wanting someone successful and strong?
Isn’t that natural for a woman?
“They don’t want him, they want his wallet,” Mushu said.
“Maybe. But he’s no angel either — he won’t exactly be gentle before marriage. There will be endless tests, checks, pressure.”
“But Nate isn’t like that, sweetheart,” Hades said softly.
I laughed.
“We don’t know that.”
“Nate was the one who wrote to me. And how much he tested me before that — I don’t know.”
They pulled back a little.
“But he said
he knew right away it was you.”
I smiled.
“Yes… I’d really like to believe that. But—”
I took a sip of wine.
“As far as I understand, men work differently.
Right?”
I realized they can’t fall in love instantly,
even if you’re their destiny.
Mine were already drinking straight from the bottle.
I laughed.
“Pocahontas, don’t go so hard.”
“Yes, it’s strange, but men are like that.
Although… I don’t know.”
“They carry responsibility later and all that. Women can make a romantic gesture just because.”
They nodded, inviting me to go on.
“If I were in Nate’s place…”
“Hm.”
“I don’t know.
Probably yes.
You’d want to check. To be sure the person is worth it.
Guys, I really don’t know.”
“How long did he test me — a year? Half a year?
Or longer — I don’t know.”
“But you’re the most honest person on earth,” the mermaid said.
I softened.
“Thank you.
I don’t know.
I really don’t know.
I can take care of men.
I can help them heal.
But I don’t understand them.
I truly don’t understand them.
I only feel them.”
And then a man sat down next to me.
“Hello. May I?”
I got flustered.
“Yes, of course.”
“You look thoughtful.”
“Yes. I am.”
And we laughed.
“My name is Julian.”
“What a beautiful name.”
He smiled.
I blushed.
“What do you do?”
“I work nearby.
Over there, in that building.”
“Ooooh, and do they know whose building that is?”
Hades and Mushu lit up.
I smiled wider.
The man was decent, but I must have looked so innocent
that he started explaining his work to me in detail.
“Just tell him already.”
“I don’t want to. Let him show off.”
Then he asked what I do.
I said I don’t work.
He flinched slightly.
“Oh, now this will be interesting.”
I understood immediately what crossed his mind.
He had hoped to avoid girls chasing money —
and then suddenly, me.
I raised an eyebrow.
“Does that bother you?”
He cleared his throat.
I asked for the check.
Suddenly he urgently had to leave.
And I laughed.
“Well, guys.
Looks like I don’t qualify anymore.
Just a kept woman.
A silly girl chatting on his money.”

What next?
I pulled out my list — things to do, things to try.
And suddenly I lit up.
“Oh! I want another dinner set.
Maybe new cups.”
“God…” Hades covered his face with his palm.
“We should’ve gone to boxing. You’re such a bore. Such a girly nuisance.”
Hot tears ran down my cheeks.
I rushed to the restroom.
I cried with my eyes closed.
Is it really that shameful to be a girl?
Do you really have to go to boxing,
be strong, never bend, analyze everything, lead?
Do you really have to be a boy
for boys to respect you?
“Happy now, idiot?” Ursula smacked him on the back of the head.
And I kept crying.
Beep.
Another beep.
Automatic message: I’ll call you later.
“Well. Now I really am alone.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it,” Hades said.
I stopped him with one gesture. Stop.
“Please stop.
I don’t want to talk to you.
You really hurt me.”
“And you know—”
I paused.
“If you’re ashamed to be with a girl,
go live in the head of a man you can actually respect.”
He froze.
“Go on, live. Life teaches you nothing.
He’ll cheat on you — if he isn’t already.
You don’t check his affairs, do you?
Maybe it’s not even a business trip.
Maybe he’s there with someone who isn’t as fragile and naive as you.”
And I started crying again.
“Nate isn’t like that.
He’s not.
And I’m not pathetic.
I’m beautiful.
People tell me that all the time.
I’m smart.
And I’m a girl.
I’m learning not to carry everything on my own.
I’m learning to trust that Nate holds things, that he—”
Hades waved his hand dismissively, like blah blah blah.
And then the phone rang.
“Hello?”
I sniffed.
“Kitten—”
I lit up.
“Hi, my love.”
My fingers nervously played with my skirt,
as if he could see me.
“Sweetheart—”
his voice changed instantly.
“Did someone hurt you?
Sweetheart, if you need me—”
“No, no. Everything’s fine. Thank you.”
I melted.
I couldn’t believe he would really drop everything and fly to me.
“Men don’t do that.
This isn’t a movie,” Mushu said.
And I cried.
Nate snapped — he was clearly worried.
“Kitten, who hurt you?”
I… I—
I couldn’t speak. I was just crying.
Nate switched to FaceTime and was suddenly right there with me.
Without thinking, I fixed my makeup and my hair.
I didn’t want to look completely pathetic.
“That won’t help. You look like a slut,” Mushu said.
And I kept crying and crying.
Nate stayed with me the way he knows how — quietly, calmly.
He gave me time, and I slowly started to settle.
“How was your day?” I asked.
He hesitated a little.
“Slowly, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”
Um… I… I—
And I burst into tears again.
“Sorry, Nate. Maybe I’ll call you back later. I don’t want to distract you.”
“He probably has way more important things to do than listen to your whining,” Mushu said.
And I cried again.
How rough and cruel Hades and Mushu were.
Ursula and Pocahontas stood up for me.
“Sweetheart…”
I tried to look up at him and managed a weak smile.
“Kitten, do you want me to fly over?”
“No, no, you don’t have to.”
“Honestly — you really do,” a soft voice said.
“Nate, you don’t respect me.”
He looked surprised.
“Kitten, I respect you very much.”
“You don’t think I’m stupid?”
“No,” he shook his head.
“That I’m like a child?”
“No.”
“Or that I’m too emotional?”
“No.”
“Sweetheart…”
I looked up.
“I’ll fly over as soon as I can,” Nate said.
“Oh God, no, please don’t. I don’t want you rushing here because of me, I—I don’t want that, Nate.”
“This is decided.”
I started crying.
Damn it.
Now I’m stressing Nate out too.
And everyone else.
They’ll have to run things without him,
and he’ll be running around me like I’m incapable.
“Exactly. Idiot,” Mushu said.
And I completely broke down.

I tried to pay the bill as quietly as possible and escape the restaurant.
“Miss.”
I was still sniffling.
Michael looked flustered.
And I laughed.
God, Nate is so strong, so grown-up —
and ordinary men are so funny.
They always panic when they see emotions,
as if emotions are threatening them.
“It’s okay, Michael. I’ll level out in a moment.
Please, let’s stop for ice cream — the kind with alcohol —
and then you’ll take me to buy a handbag, okay?”
He nodded.
“Oh wait — actually, take me to the shop first,
and then you can bring me the ice cream, alright?”
“Of course, miss.”
We pulled up to the store.
Everything inside was glowing —
the windows, the lights, the saleswomen.
Suddenly I changed my mind.
“No. I don’t want to. Let’s keep going.”
And we drove and drove.
“Oh, let’s get pizza too.”
Michael laughed.
“Miss, you’re so slim — how will you fit all that?”
I went pale.
He immediately realized he’d said the wrong thing.
“Miss, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“Please stop here.”
I stepped out of the car.
“Sebastian.”
“Miss.”
“Please send Alpha. Or send Cayenne.”
“Of course, miss.”
And Cayenne arrived.
I tried not to get angry.
An Alpha like Nate —
I can’t stand it when someone touches what’s mine,
but there was no other option.
He opened the door for me.
I gave a weak smile.
“Where to, miss?”
“I don’t know. Just take me somewhere.”
“Alright.”
“Miss, maybe on the way we could stop at one place—”
I got irritated.
I love my people and I always try to be generous,
but damn it — personal matters should stay personal.
“No. Take the bypass.”
“As you wish, miss.”
I put my headphones in.
And the music poured in like nectar.
My body relaxed.
I started breathing deeper.
A couple more minutes —
and I felt completely calm.
Trees flashed past the window.
Finally. The bypass.
“Cayenne.”
“Yes, miss?”
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t an easy day. I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”
He nodded.
And we drove up to the lake.
Such a beautiful place.
He radiated warmth — calm, grounded, present.
I smiled.
“Rest, sweetheart.”
We got out of the car.
The lake was clean and gentle.
The world froze.
The city wasn’t noisy.
It wasn’t pressing in.
I hate those high-rises.
Ugh.
My body reacted.
I suddenly tensed.
Damn.
Stay alert, my mind said.
I assessed the surroundings.
I’m alone.
The forest.
And Cayenne.
I nodded.
Not that I couldn’t handle Cayenne —
but I really didn’t want to slip back into fight mode,
to armor up again.
And I exhaled.
If he had planned to hurt me, he would have already done it.
Nothing was stopping him.
A forest.
A lake.
Far from the city.
I was completely defenseless.
And I exhaled.
But not for long enough.
A second later I heard a soft rustle.
Damn.
I tensed and looked at Cayenne.
He smiled.
Everything inside me went cold.
What was happening?
My brain started working feverishly.
Grab the club.
I quickly moved toward the car.
Cayenne got alarmed.
“Stay where you are!” I shouted.
He stared at me.
He’ll think you’re insane.
— acknowledged.
I don’t care.
I have to protect myself if it comes to that.
The brain confirmed it.
The least of our concerns is someone else’s opinion.
The Audi.
Another car.
Two cars.
That’s too much.
Cayenne plus Mike — I have no chance.
I started shaking with terror, thinking frantically.
There is always one rule: never stay alone with a man if you’re not ready for what comes next.
Two is always code red for me.
For fuck’s sake—
But a second later Nate stepped out of the car.
And I broke.
Oh my God.
Nate.
Nate!
I ran toward him.
I can’t believe you’re here.
Nate still held his composure.
He calmly hugged me and shook Cayenne’s hand.
“You can go.”
Cayenne got into the Audi, Mike behind the wheel.
The car pulled away.
Only Nate and I were left.
Nate visibly relaxed once they were gone.
“Nate…”
I was crying.
“I—I—I just can’t believe you’re here.”
He took my face in his hands and kissed me.
Nate was so calm.
So strong.
I relaxed instantly.
“Nate, do you really love me?
Really?”
“Had you ever loved anyone like this before me?”
“No.”
I lit up with happiness
and turned away so he wouldn’t see how joyful it is for a woman to know she is the one.
I think he’s lying, the brain said.
Maybe.
But right now I didn’t want to think about it.

Restaurant
Nate and I sat in the same restaurant where I had once met Julian.
Nate grew more and more tense as I told the story.
And suddenly it hit me — in his eyes, this wasn’t funny at all.
I got embarrassed.
It had seemed funny to me that the man simply didn’t know I was Nate’s wife.
Nate clenched his jaw harder and harder.
I tensed completely.
An awkward silence settled.
Why is he reacting like this?
Does he not trust me?
So I decided to ask directly.
“Nate…” — pause. I felt myself blush.
“Nate, I don’t understand why you’re reacting this way.”
“Sweetheart.”
He said it in a tone so steel-cold it scared me.
My lip trembled.
And then I started crying.
I ran to the bathroom.
Nate didn’t knock right away, but I could hear him standing by the door.
“Kitten…”
His voice was softer now.
He knocked again.
“Sweetheart.”
“Nate, please go away. I feel stupid.”
“Kitten, may I come in?”
“No. Go to hell.”
I was so angry — so sick of these grown, capable men.
Everything collapsed into one.
On top of everything, Jonathan and Josh had left for a week without me.
They clearly stated that they had recovered and could go on their own.
My jaw nearly dropped.
Roman hasn’t needed me since he was five — at least that’s how it feels.
Everyone had become so strong, so powerful, that they no longer needed me.
So serious.
And the worst thought struck me —
isn’t this exactly what I had been striving for?
Truly stable men.
No longer boys.
Grown, strong, real.
Oh my God.
Now, with my jokes, my drinking, my awkwardness, I’ll seem too frivolous to them — maybe even silly.
They’ll probably choose women just like themselves now.
Start dating people just as stable and adult.
Why would they need a child like me?
Nate waited.
And even through my anger, I laughed —
I can’t believe he really reads my mind.
“Kitten…”
He knocked again, shifting slightly from foot to foot.
I lifted my head.
Ha. Let him suffer.
It must be unbearable for such grown, powerful men to stand here at a bathroom door.
Because someone — oh God — might see something personal.
No.
Everything must stay behind the mask.
We must keep our face.
I gagged theatrically.
He laughed.
“Sweetheart, please.”
I rolled my eyes but opened the door
and walked out with my head held high.
“Go to hell.”
He stopped me by the elbow.
“Kitten…”
“Let go! I’m a child to you now — ridiculous and too alive!”
“Sweetheart, that’s not true.”
I snorted.
He pretended to stretch
and suddenly threw me over his shoulder like prey.
I blushed.
Oh God. What an idiot.
“Stop it.”
I didn’t know where to hide my face,
how to disappear entirely.
He walked out into the restaurant.
Everyone was staring at us.
He calmly paid the bill with me over his shoulder
and winked at the waiter like nothing was happening.
Nate turned to leave.
I almost exhaled.
But he stopped.
Turned around.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is my wife, and I love her very much.
I apologize for the interruption, but I had to prove to my wife that I’m not such an important ass after all.”
People were already filming on their phones.
I was dying of embarrassment inside.
You idiot.
You terrible, terrible idiot.
Outside, he didn’t put me down.
I begged him.
“Nate, I understand, please — enough.
Please. That’s enough.”
“What is it, sweetheart?”
“Just stop. Please. I get it.”
He put me down
and kissed me.
I almost burst from happiness.
What an idiot.
Shameless.
But so romantic — Nate.