Gallup Institute (GI): Tell us about your best team.
Michael: Could you clarify the question? There are at least thirty people working here.
GI: Then tell us about the people who formed the core of the team.
Michael: I think the best team I ever had worked for me several years ago. There were four of them.
Brad was around thirty-five. He was a consummate waiter and took great pride in his craft — he was proud of being the best waiter in town. And his intuition was remarkable. A customer would barely have time to think that it might be nice to ask for some water — whatever it was — and Brad was already there.
Gary was uncomplicated — not naïve, just genuinely simple in the best possible way. He saw the world as a friendly place from the very beginning, and there was always a smile on his face. That didn’t mean he wasn’t a professional — he absolutely was. Meticulous, always in a perfectly pressed shirt. But what amazed me most was how people reacted to Gary: everyone liked being around him.
Susan was our sunshine. Cheerful, energetic, and very good at presenting herself. At first, she struck me as a bit prickly and somewhat over the top, but time proved me wrong. She handled customers beautifully. On the busiest evenings, she could politely but firmly tell guests that last-minute table bookings were simply not possible. During lunch hours, some customers wanted to eat quickly, pay, and leave. Susan only had to notice the slightest hint of impatience to signal the waiter to speed things up. She was attentive and made the right decisions.
Emma was the one who held us together. Calm, responsible, always thinking about the rest of the team. Before a tough Saturday night, Emma would usually gather everyone and remind them to perform well, stay alert, and help one another when things got difficult.
Those four were the backbone of the best team I ever had. I barely had to step in. They managed perfectly on their own. They trained new hires, set an example for others, and even fired those who weren’t a good fit. You could say that for three whole years, the restaurant stood on their shoulders.

First, Break All the Rules
GI: Where are they now?
Michael: Susan, Emma, and Gary finished university and moved back east. Brad still works with me.
GI: Do you have a secret for building great teams?
Michael: I don’t think there’s really a secret. I believe the main job of a good manager is to help people feel comfortable being themselves. We all lose confidence in certain situations. Wouldn’t it be great if work wasn’t one of them? I didn’t try to change Brad, Susan, Gary, or Emma. I didn’t want to turn them into copies of one another. I wanted to create an environment where they could unfold as individuals. They didn’t try to suppress one another, and customers were happy — so I didn’t care how different they were.
GI: How did you get to know them so well?
Michael: I spent a lot of time with them. I listened. We often went out for lunch or a drink together. Sometimes I invited them over on weekends. All of that helped me understand who they really were.
GI: What do you think about the saying “familiarity breeds contempt”?
Michael: I think it’s wrong. How can you manage people if you don’t understand them — their style, their motivation, their personal circumstances? It’s almost impossible.
GI: Should a manager treat all employees the same?
Michael: Absolutely not.
GI: Why not?
Michael: Because people are different. I told you about Gary and what a great employee he was. But twice, when his jokes crossed the line, I had to take drastic measures. I truly liked Gary, but our relationship would have been permanently damaged if I hadn’t put my foot down and said, “Don’t come in starting Monday.” Each time he was fired, Gary came back with a better understanding of himself and his values. Both times, I rehired him. I think he became better because of the way I handled it.
With Gary, an iron fist did the job. It would never have worked with Brad. If I had raised my voice at Brad, it would have had the opposite effect — he would have shut down immediately. So when I disagreed with Brad, I explained the issue carefully, in a calm conversation.


GI: Is it fair to treat employees differently?
Michael: I think it is. People want to be understood. By treating them differently, I help them feel unique. If one person has a family to support and another is a student, I’ll give the first person the better shifts. The student may not like it at first, but once I explain the situation, they usually understand. And now they know that when they need something, I’ll take their situation into account as well. This approach has a positive effect on relationships with employees.
GI: Have you had to fire anyone other than Gary?
Michael: Unfortunately, yes. Like most managers, I sometimes hire the wrong people, and that hurts performance.
GI: What is your approach to firing?
Michael: Do it quickly. The faster, the better. If someone consistently performs poorly, you might think it’s kinder to wait. It isn’t. You’re only making the problem worse.
GI: You’ve been managing people for fifteen years. If you had to give one piece of advice to a new manager, what would it be?
Michael: Honestly, I’m not an expert. I’m still learning myself.
GI: Fair enough. Then just share a few ideas that have helped you over the years.
Michael: First, hire the right people. If you get that right, everything else becomes much easier.
Trust the people you hire. Everyone knows the register is based on trust. If someone needs to borrow a couple of dollars for cigarettes or a couple hundred for rent, they just leave an IOU and pay it back later. If you expect the best from people, that’s usually what you’ll get. I’ve rarely been disappointed — and when I was, I didn’t see it as a reason to change the rules or punish everyone else.
Another idea: don’t rush promotions. Pay people well. Make their current job attractive in every way, so they actually want to keep doing it. Brad is a fantastic waiter, but he would be a terrible manager. He loves working with people he respects — and he genuinely respects customers. But he doesn’t feel the same way about some new hires. If he became a manager, he’d have to work closely with them.
One more important rule: never pass the buck. Never say, “I think this is a bad idea, but management insists.” That may make your job easier in the short term, but it weakens the organism — the organization, I should say. In the long run, you’re only hurting yourself. Even worse are managers who make promises they’re unlikely to keep. You can’t predict your company’s future policies, so my advice is simple: make fewer promises — and keep every single one of them. That’s pretty much the whole list.
GI: Is there anything else from your experience you’d like to share?
Michael: Just one thing. A manager must remember that they are on stage every single day. People are watching. Every action and every word sends a signal. Those signals affect performance. So never forget — you are on stage.
Guys, here’s the situation.
Not everyone is born to be an alpha.
Not everyone can handle that level of power.
That needs to be understood very clearly.
And no — this isn’t about putting yourself down.
The fact is, what looks like a real man — a solid, grounded, normal man — is already such a level of strength that in real life you can count them on one hand.
Now, about the situation with Michael
(apart from the fact that the guy has a beautiful name).
Here’s the fact.
A manager isn’t just a job.
It’s a type of person.
A great manager is serious work and serious status.
If you’re competent and you truly understand how work functions, you will naturally organize a home the same way.
Manager is a personality type, guys.
Let’s go deeper.
Here’s the uncomfortable fact.
Almost unpleasant.
A family is made of different people.
Even children are different people.
A wife.
A child.
A second child.
Every single one of them, damn it, has their own identity.
Everyone has their own system, their own world, their own way of seeing things.
And an alpha manager — this is critical — takes each person’s qualities and respects them.
I mean respects.
An alpha doesn’t suppress everyone and everything with
“I’m the boss, I know better.”
Nooooo.
An alpha sees and hears who each person in his system is, how they live, how they function — and he adapts the structure so that everything in his system works like a mechanism.
Clear and well-organized.
Chaos reduced to a minimum.
Real control — at the maximum.
You need to take a closer look.
And then see it for what it is.
And then, step by step, we’ll figure it out —
where the system in the family isn’t set up properly,
where things don’t match up,
where it simply isn’t working the way it should — and why.
And if we know where it’s off and why,
then dealing with it becomes manageable.
Once again: marriage is just a process.
It needs to be leveled out
and cleared of chaos,
excess emotions,
and unnecessary stress.
All of this needs to be brought under control.
An alpha is built to handle this.
The key thing — and this is critical —
is not to suppress.
We choose to listen.
If a child says they don’t want something,
they have to explain why.
And if they can explain it clearly,
we realize that the small human is, in fact, right.
And at that point,
we feel embarrassed that we ignored it for so long.
I’ll remind you of this later.
For now, we move on.
You have to listen to people.
Children.
Your wife.
All of them have their own point of view.
Yeeeah.
“Go to hell.
I’m tired.
I already carry too much.
Get lost.”
Fine.
But if you want a normal family,
you’ll have to stop scratching your ass
and level everything out.
This is a long-term investment.
First, we get the mechanism dialed in.
Then we collect the dividends.
Not all at once, guys.
Gradually.