Nate showed up at the kindergarten, supposedly to “help.”
Pure bullshit.
Nate was in his absolute best form.
Hot — nothing but sex.
I tried not to look.
Of course he had to come exactly on tree-planting day.
— Hades.
All my inner voices on the couch were staring at Nate like obedient sheep.
I ignored him as best I could.
A T-shirt.
Jeans.
Of course.
“Do you really think that was a random choice?”
— Mushu.
“Ha-ha. Very funny.”
— Me.
“Why the hell did he put on a white T-shirt?”
“Aaaah, you figured it out too, baby.”
— Hades.
“Get off me.”
I went into the classroom.
“Sit up straight, we can’t see him properly.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Stop staring at him.”
“Why do we need that loser when we have Nate? Just look at him.”
— Ursula.
My body exhaled.
It was taking over.
Desire rose against my will.
Nate was digging the soil, drenched in sweat, the T-shirt clinging so tightly every curve was visible.
Sweat ran down from his hair.
I bit my lip.
Damn him.
And right on cue, he looked toward the window.
Oh hell.
Aaah.
I turned away instantly.
“Idiot.”
Hades and Mushu burst out laughing.
Nate smiled.
Of course he knows exactly how he affects me.
I started to lose my breath.
Fantasies flooded my head, sending direct signals to my body.
“Come on, Nazokat. Don’t think about it.”
About it — that was the hook.
Scenes flashed through my mind in fragments, like broken frames.
My body remembered his hands, his bites, the way he can drive me insane.
Oh God.
I was slipping again.
I closed my eyes.
My fingers slipped into my mouth.
Oh God.
Damn it.
It’s Nate.
Time disappeared, carrying me off into fantasies.
“Kitten.”
Silence.
“Sweetheart.”
Aaah — I jumped up.
Damn it, Nate.
“Hi.”
He started making his way toward the table.
“No no no no no,” all my inner voices panicked.
“At least he could’ve washed up first.”
— Mushu.
I grabbed the notebooks like a shield and slowly backed into the corner.
“Sweetheart.”
No.
No no no no no no.
Nooooo.
He was coming closer — slowly, with that relentless pressure.
Everyone knows I don’t stand a chance against him.
I look at his T-shirt.
Damn those arms.
Those abs.
My God.
Nate flashes that signature smile of his.
“Nate, I… I… please—don’t.”
“What are you talking about, kitten?”
I start smiling.
Oh God, Nate, you know — stop it. All of this.
He’s almost there. I jump aside and move behind the table.
“Naaate, I—I—I—I can’t. Stop.”
“Mm-hmm.”
In one move he closes the distance.
“Kitten, I missed you so much.”
No no no no.
Nate, no no.
I didn’t miss you.
He presses his lips tight.
“Really?”
Y-yes, yes, yes — I try to make it sound like some kind of statement.
“Let’s check.”
He gently bites my neck.
I drop all the notebooks — and whatever self-control I had left.
I wrap my arms around him.
He presses me against the wall.
My head starts spinning.
Oh God, damn him.
His kisses move lower and lower.
I hate him.
I hate him.
No.
Oh God.
I adore him.
Damn him.
…
“Nate.”
“Mmm.”
We’re walking through the forest.
“Why did you go back to racing?”
“Sweetheart, I didn’t go back to racing. We’re just training on the track.”
I lower my eyes.
“I don’t like it.”
He exhales and takes my hands.
“Kitten, it’s safe.”
“It’s not just that, Nate.
I think you’re addicted to it — as if all of this matters more than we do.”
He exhales.
“Is he not going to deny it? Is he really going to stay silent?”
— Mushu.
“I don’t know. Men are so strange. Maybe he needs to think it through.”
— Me.
They nod.
But they don’t stop laughing.
Some time passes.
We keep walking through the forest.
“Kitten.”
He reaches for me again.
The first rush has passed.
I’ve already released the impulse, and now I’m thinking a little more clearly.
“Nate, I can’t. We can’t keep solving everything with sex.”
He exhales.
“What do you want, kitten?”
“Nate, I need grounding. Calm.
I don’t want all of this — racing, cars, endless adventures.”
“Sweetheart—”
I stop him. It’s obvious. He is who he is.
“Then I’ll look for another option, and you and your fucking ego can live together.”
I turn away.
“Sweetheart.”
“Go to hell.”
…
A week passed.
Not a word from Nate. Not a sound.
…
2:16
I can’t get to sleep.
“Fuck,” I swear.
Back to the old plan?
Aaaah — anger takes over me.
“Fine. Let’s go.”
The Devil is sitting there, legs crossed.
“So, you’re seducing me now?”
“What else?”
We laugh, and I light a cigarette.
I pull off my bra.
So damn annoying.
Panties — and a light slip on top.
My favorite slip.
The Devil raises an eyebrow.
“Nah. I’ll go barefoot.”
He shrugs.
“Mademoiselle?”
I nod and take his arm.
We smoke and, mocking high-society types, head out to walk with the bears.
Four Saint Bernards — because Rufus would’ve died without Nate.
“Just like you.”
— Hades snorts.
I wave him off.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“So, how are things?”
The Devil nods and starts telling me how things are in hell — one torture better than the next.
How he and the demons mess with drunks and addicts, because they already think like shit, and this way you can really go all out.
Suddenly, I’m amused again.
And I shove him hard, just to be mean.
He falls to the ground and gets pissed.
I run off, squealing.
He chases me.
“Careful — don’t wreck your heels!”
— Hades gives me a high five, and we take off laughing, running from that stupid little goat-hoofed princess.
I’m dying of joy — it’s so much fun.
Finally, he runs out of breath.
Hades and I stick out our tongues and make faces at him.
“You old geezer! Old geeeeezerrrr! Bleh bleh bleh!”
“I rule the world!”
“Yeah!” — and we moon him.
“Ass — that’s who you are!”
He loses it again.
We keep running.
And suddenly — Nate on the path.
Shit.
All my voices vanish instantly.
“Nate?”
He starts walking closer.
I tense up.
“You’re scaring me.”
He softens a little.
“Sorry, kitten.”
“Stay there. You’re scaring me.”
“Sweetheart.”
A tear glints in the darkness.
“Oh God, is he starting his whole act again?”
— Hades.
I take a deep breath.
“Looks like it.”
“Kitten.”
“Stay where you are.”
“Okay.”
“Sweetheart.”
I cross my arms over my chest.
“Yeah, now you’re brave. And what happens if he touches you again?”
— Hades.
“Fuck off,”
— me.
“I’ve thought everything through.”
“Well, of coooourse,”
— Hades rolls his eyes.
I give him a high five and roll my eyes too.
“Nate, let’s skip the theater.”
He takes a deep breath.
“Sweetheart, you are more important to me.”
“Yeah, you already proved that when you went back to racing,”
— Hades.
I nod.
“Nate, your actions say the opposite.”
“I’ll cancel everything.”
I shake my head.
“Go fuck yourself. Now you’re the victim — poor thing, crushed by the cruel wife who forced you to strangle your own soul.”
I turn and start walking home.
“Sweetheart—”
I don’t listen.
Fuck that bastard and his pretty speeches