I stopped by a bar to grab some beer.
Nothing suggested trouble.
I was ridiculously happy — tonight is the evening when everyone is home,
and we’re all going to watch a movie together.
I’m insisting on You’ve Got Mail,
but that’s still under discussion.
Plus Roman is yelling that he agrees only to Minions.
Honestly, not the worst choice, but still.
I took the beer, and Roman sat down next to me,
rocking back and forth on a bar stool.
In the corner there’s a guy, and he’s clearly not okay.
I try to ignore it as much as I can.
But while waiting for the pizza, everything inside me flips upside down.
My gaze keeps jumping — from my son, to the guy, to the bartender.
Damn. Damn. Damn.
This is not your business, Nazokat. Don’t interfere.
Don’t interfere.
Don’t interfere.
But I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t go over.
— Hi.
— Hi.
— Are you okay?
He’s about to cry, are you blind? — Hades.
I rolled my eyes.
He was sitting there, wearing a cap.
Yeah, he barely smiled — that kind of smile you give when you desperately don’t want help, but you’ve been trained not to inconvenience anyone.
Oh my God, just leave this pathetic guy alone, pizza and a huge estate are waiting for us, we’ve made it and thank God — Hades.
I can’t do that!
Well then you’re an idiot! Why the hell do we need his problems?!
Because he’s a damn human being and he clearly needs support, what an asshole!
— Listen, I don’t want to get into your business, but—
But but but what?! But what?! What are you even going to tell him?!
Or what, you understand men now?! — Hades.
I sighed.
—I’m just trying to help however I can.
Yeah, wow, look at that, he’s glowing already — what are you, a sorceress, how did you do that? — Hades.
Leave me alone.
The guy silently looked at me.
I rubbed my neck.
— Can we sit?
He snapped back to himself.
— Yes, yes, of course. And you have a son.
No, he’s a foundling, she found him right outside the bar, they give those away in bulk there — of course it’s her son! — Hades.
— Yes, his name is Roman, but sometimes I call him a pain in the ass, because a name should reflect the essence.
The guy laughed — so sincerely — and now I could clearly see the tears.
I sighed.
— Listen, people like me are considered strange, not quite of this world, but I… I… I honestly want to help, just as one human to another, you know?
Yeah right, now he’ll pour his whole soul out to you — sure he believed you, hello, he’s a man, they don’t cry to just anyone — Hades.
— My name is Aaron.
I nodded.
— And I’m Nazokat.
He smiled.
And then the pizza arrived.
Hades staged a plane crash.
I opened the box and the pizza, and Roman immediately attacked it like he was tasting food for the first time, leaned his back against me to turn on cartoons, and just enjoy life.
What can I say — it’s 11:15 p.m., Roman has already broken every possible rule, so why not, let him watch cartoons.
Outside the window stand two hot cars — my Maserati and a BMW.
— Is that your car?
— Yeah.
— Cool.
He smiled.
— Yours isn’t bad either.
Not bad?! What does he mean— and Mushu jumped into the fight, but Ursula and Mulan dragged him back.
— So, let’s… uh…
He laughed.
Anyway, we clinked beers.
Then I spat that crap out.
— Sorry, I don’t drink this, it’s for my friends.
And my husband… you wanted to say and my husband, right? — Hades.
Oh my God, right — I slapped my forehead.
This is my old pain: every time I try to talk to guys like a normal human being, it turns into love.
I didn’t want to give hope to one more person.
— Aaron, I—
And then the phone rang.
— Kitten?
I lit up. My whole body filled with warmth and comfort, as if Nate were here.
— Hi.
— Jonathan and I went to the store, don’t lose us.
— Okay.
— Kitten?
— Mm?
— Everything okay?
Ohhh, Hades bloomed, enjoying the show. Go on, lie to him like you know how.
I rolled my eyes.
— Nate, we’re at a bar with Roman and—
I looked at Aaron. How do I describe him?
A guy who burst into tears like a little girl and we came to hand him pink napkins and invite him to a pajama party — Hades prompted.
— Sorry, I’ll step aside — I moved the phone away.
Aaron nodded.
— Of course.
I stepped a little farther from the table.
— Nate, we came to pick up an order and there’s this guy in the corner and he’s really sad.
Nate laughed.
— Got it.
— Oh, come on!
— Kitten, I’ll come get you now.
Ooooh, Mr. Sex Will Fix Everything — Hades.
— Exactly — me.
Damn, what if it makes him uncomfortable — you’re men after all, I’m at least a girl.
Nate thought for a moment and then drawled:
— In any case, I’ll come pick you up — you’ve already had a drink.
I blushed like a kid caught by their parents.
— Yeah.
He laughed again.
— Aaron, listen, my husband is about to come pick Roman and me up, and…
Oh God, how awkward — Hades was eating popcorn, enjoying my failures.
Hey, hey, everyone come here, she’s about to start wriggling out of it.
And all my evil characters gathered on one couch.
— Aaron, listen, like I said, I just want to help. If you don’t want to, I won’t dig into your soul. But if you ever do — I’m happy to help, or at least listen.
He crookedly smiled again and wiped his nose.
There were a couple more minutes of awkward silence, and then he spoke.
— You have such a wonderful son.
Is he talking about the foundling? — Hades.
Shut up! — me.
— Thank you — I ruffled Roman’s hair.
— How long have you been married?
— Um… well… uh… kind of… uh…
He laughed.
— Me too.
Damn, I can’t remember how long Nate and I have been together.
Five years, maybe. Or eight.
— Wow.
— Exactly — I nodded.
Why is he so surprised? Has he never seen marriages before? — Hades.
— And you? — I asked carefully.
He just shook his head no.
— No, I’m not married.
— Cody.
— What?
— Cody.
I turned around.
—but how?
— That’s how it’s supposed to be.
Oh shit, now they’ll start their nonsense about lessons and spiritual growth — Hades.
I couldn’t hold back a laugh.
— Oh my God.
And the spirits retreated.
So that means this is her “the one.”
Nice.
I got flustered.
— Aaron…
— Why aren’t you married?
And I blushed immediately.
— Damn. I’m sorry, I’m from Russia, and we’re used to getting straight to the point.
For us, dragging things out is considered disrespectful, and getting straight to it is actually very pleasant.
He smiled and immediately grew sad.
— I wanted to get married and become a father since I was five.
My eyes filled with tears.
Damn, how I understand him.
Hades put his hand on my shoulder — I understand him too, it’s so sad to live alone and enjoy everything you can, what could be worse than…
— Shut up!
— I dreamed about it. I thought I’d get married right after college, but somehow I never managed to meet someone who shared that feeling, and now I’m already 38.
He got emotional.
And I blushed with shame.
Oooh, the guy has a living heart, can you imagine? Aren’t these the kinds of boys you hurt in school, and in college, and… always! — Hades.
— Get lost.
— What, huh? He pretended to remember — like, yes, he definitely had a dream, but some bitch probably crushed him and played with him — he pretended to think, interesting.
— Exactly — Mushu chimed in.
I rolled my eyes.
— Damn you all, I didn’t do it on purpose!
I have my own men.
Jonathan  and Josh— but they are  like a child to me, as if they  doesn’t belong to the world of men at all. They are  mine and that’s it. That’s how I divide them. Other men didn’t concern me much, and it always seemed to me that they were all obsessed only with careers and money, but definitely not with family — unless their girlfriend got pregnant.
Damn.
I’m Nazokat. I try to believe that it’s not too late and that I’ll still have a family and children.
I was already openly wiping away tears.
— The monster has a soul — Hades pretended to be surprised.
— Get lost — me.
Damn.
— Um… Aaron — I was about to comfort him when I suddenly remembered — wait, the spirits gave me the answer, it exists, his woman is Cody. Damn, am I some kind of angelic matchmaker?
Launch it.
And in my head started playing
Justin Timberlake — SexyBack
Oooh aaah oooh, and I quietly sang to myself:
Come girl
Go happy go
Sexy girl
A finger poked me in the back.
— I don’t want to interrupt… uh… this — he disgustedly pointed at my dancing, made a face like my head already hurts, and nodded toward Aaron.
— Please — he hissed through his teeth — deal with the pathetic one. You don’t like pitying people, and he’s about to flood the bar right now.
— Listen, Aaa-ron, can I ask you something, I mean, I want to sa—
And then Nate and Jonathan burst in.
Both handsome, tall, strong.
Laughing, discussing something between themselves.
Like frames from a movie.
I straightened up.
The whole bar turned toward them.
That’s my pride. My men.
What an honor to be next to them.
My movie stars.
Roman jumped up and flew toward Nate. Nate grabbed him by the legs, flipped him upside down, and started swinging his son around like a living flag.
Roman laughed like crazy.
I smiled.
— Kitten — he kissed me.
— This is Aaron.
And they shook hands.
— Listen, Aaron, I don’t insist, but I think I know your future wife.
— Really? — he stared at me, stunned.
— Yes.
Nate immediately understood what was going on; he and Jonathan exchanged a glance.
— But as creepy as this may sound…
— Honey, I’ve got this.
Jonathan and Nate started pretending to be FBI agents.
I closed my eyes.
Idiots.
— Aaron, we’re forced to take you to a secret location, the whereabouts of which you are not supposed to know.
Aaron tensed up — naturally, Nate and Jonathan were playing it up.
Then Roman laughed, and the tension eased.
Everyone laughed.
Jonathan winked at one of the girls at the table on the way out,
and it seemed to me she was about to lose consciousness.
My God — to have that kind of effect on women and still be alone.

Germany.
Carolan and I locked ourselves in the cockpit, and he was telling me all the news that had happened while we hadn’t seen each other.
The guys were playing console games.
The kids were sleeping.
I was terrified that we had taken the children with us, but Nate was right — you can’t deprive them of life and valuable memories.
Carolan caught my glance.
— Worried about the kids?
— You have no idea how much.
This is Germany.
— Cody will finish his business and then everyone will rush to a restaurant, and there will be drinking.
Damn, I won’t be able to relax.
He gently placed his hand on my leg.
— Honey—
My hair stood on end.
Time slowed down.
I wasn’t breathing.
Nate slowly stood up and walked into the cockpit.
I felt his movement even though I didn’t see him.
That special connection between us — he didn’t think, didn’t hesitate.
He acted on instinct, on body.
Nate immediately punched Carolan.
Then the fight started.
Or rather, Nate started hitting him, and Carolan was apologizing.
— Oh my God—
I ran.
Jonathan and Josh dragged Nate away.
— Land the plane! — Nate was beside himself with rage.
Carolan was trying to explain himself.
— Nate, I didn’t think, I just wanted to help, I—I’m sorry—
Nate snapped again and lunged at Carolan once more.
Jonathan and Josh barely pulled him back.
The noise and shouting woke the kids.
I prayed Sophie was with them.
I locked myself in the restroom to calm down.
But not for long — the kids needed their mom.
The plane made an emergency landing, and Carolan was escorted off after landing.
I didn’t know what to say.
Was it too much?
Yes.
He shouldn’t have touched me — especially my leg.
I was wearing a mini skirt and tights.
It looked very ambiguous.
And if Nate hadn’t intervened—
Brrr.
I shuddered.
Thank God the boys were nearby.
The town was small, and the guys and Sophie took the kids out for a walk.
— Kitten—
I was shaking all over.
I lit a cigarette.
— Honey—
He hugged me.
— I’m here. I’m with you.
— And if he had… — I burst into tears.
— No. No. Shh. Everything’s okay.
Nate thought for a moment.
— This never happened before, right?
— I don’t remember anything like that.
My eyes widened.
Oh my God — what if when I was drunk?
No.
Even completely drunk, I’m still aware.
So no.
— In any case, he won’t come back — Nate said.
I cried.
Damn it.
Nate took a deep breath
and held me.
I was so exhausted that I fell asleep sitting up.

…
Germany.
I took the controls briefly and let the kids press all the buttons,
but Nate and I had agreed that once in Germany, we. but Nate and I had agreed that once in Germany, we’d hand everything back to the pilot.
I’m too exhausted to pilot anything else.
Nate called Cody, and she squealed with excitement.
I’m really happy for her, but I’m not ready right now.
The kids and Sophie went shopping for toys.
Nate stayed with me.
Knock.
— Kitten.
I was sitting on the bathroom floor.
— Mm.
— Can I come in?
— Of course — I wiped my tears away, because if it’s Nate, I don’t want to look unkempt.
— Hi.
— Hi — and the tears started streaming down my face.
He hugged me.
— Kitten… — pause — I’m so sorry this happened.
I cried.
I hated myself for it.
This happens all the time — guys always lose their minds around me, it’s usually just a matter of time. It’s like their brains shut off and they stop thinking.
Nate, as always, read my thoughts.
— You’re not to blame.
I just sat there, my face buried in his shoulder.
Damn, the signal wasn’t ambiguous at all — a hand slightly above the knee is a clear violation. You don’t touch a woman like that unless you have plans to grope her.
Damn, but Carolan… Nate, we’ve been through so much… we… I… he… we…
And I burst into tears again.
I’ll poison him.
— Nate, don’t.
He kissed me, and it felt like he had already decided everything.
Fine. Let Nate deal with him.
— Nate — I looked up at him.
— What, kitten? — he tucked my hair behind my ear.
— Do you know how much I love you?
He lit up and pulled me close.
I exhaled.
And I thought how good it is that I no longer run away in the middle of the night with whiskey and cigarettes.
And Carolan — that made me sick.
Exactly.
I don’t want to go.
I’m not ready to meet anyone.
He shrugged.
— Okay, kitten, whatever you say.
How about we go have some tea somewhere, just the two of us?
— Of course.
Nate got changed, I did too.
I felt so awful that I went to wash myself — to rinse everything off — and my favorite dress suddenly felt like a stain. I cried and started to gather it up to throw it away.
Nate looked confused.
— Honey, are you sure? That’s your favorite dress.
— Yes, but now it’s dirty.
And I cried again.
Nate hugged me, and I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up earlier.
Nate was still sleeping.
I kissed his hair.
My beloved…
And went to the bathroom to pee.
— Sophie?
— Hello?
— I’m sorry, I’m such an egoist, but could you come and do my hair for me? — I closed my eyes in shame, as if she could see me from afar.
— Of course.
— You’re an angel.
Sophie came quietly.
— Hi.
— Hi — we giggled.
She quietly walked past Nate.
I did too, but still kissed him again.
My beloved, beloved Nate.
Sophie was doing my hair,
and I was looking at myself in the mirror, at everything I love so much.
Loved — Hades put his hand on my shoulder.
No one was mocking me. Everyone understood — this was serious.
I placed my hand on my shoulder.
The spirits leaned in close.
There is always one rule:
stay alert.
Almost fifteen years of friendship.
I felt sick.
Nate — my knight, as always, right on time.
— Hi, Sophie.
He nodded briefly, distant.
Sophie left.
I sat down on the floor again, then curled up into the fetal position.
Nate wrapped himself around me protectively, and I cried.
Then again.
And again.
And I felt a tear roll down Nate’s face — just one.
I was surprised.
How strange that I hadn’t noticed this before.
Nate truly felt with me.
He didn’t put on the “I’ll fix everything” face.
He didn’t pull away.
He was here.
He was fully with me.
I exhaled and finally fell asleep in his cocoon.
My body was protecting my mind, and it felt like I was crying both asleep and awake.
These situations are terrifying. You never know what to expect from a man.
You can be friends for years, but the rule is always the same:
never be alone with him if you’re not ready for what might come next.
Damn.
It’s so unfair — men don’t understand this.
Even men with good intentions can lose control.
I repeated it again like a mantra, and as confirmation of bitter experience — even fifteen years won’t save you.
Never be alone with a man.
I cried. How am I supposed to raise daughters?
Girls are surrounded by good men. Their father protects them, and they grow up safe.
I didn’t want to step into their picture of the world with
“be careful, not all men are like that.”
But what if I impose this on them?
If they don’t know it, maybe it won’t happen.
But what if I have to protect them — warn them?
Oh my God.
I’m so tired.
I fell asleep again, trying to simply sleep through this whole nightmare.