Boys , you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that you’re men.
There’s no way around it.
Yeah, it sounds like a funny joke.
But this is serious.
In real life, a marriage between a man and a woman is rare.
For a man to marry a woman, both have to become themselves and accept their gender — and that’s not an easy task.
But we don’t have cowards here, do we?
Men, boys, are castrated from childhood.
“You have to be a good boy.”
“You have to obey.”
“Don’t misbehave.”
All of this is complete bullshit.
I’m not saying you should go completely off the rails —
but turning into a whiny mess, blowing your nose into a handkerchief, isn’t the answer either.
Men have a different nature.
They are, by default, more selfish.
Bolder.
They push into places they were explicitly told not to go.
That’s uncomfortable for everyone around them, because it creates problems.
Yes.
But there is no other way.
You have to stop shaking.
Yeah, easy to say.
But there’s no other way.
Guys, it’s time to put your balls back where they belong.
They keep telling me, “Roman is uncontrollable.”
Nonsense.
He’s powerful.
And he knows where the boundary is — and if he doesn’t, I’m right there.
This is critically important.
Children need to be backed up, because they don’t understand everything yet —
but they must not be castrated.
A father unconsciously suppresses his son because he’s terrified — absolutely terrified —
that the boy will go beyond the limits, end up in prison, or go down the wrong path.
He shakes.
He always shakes when there’s the unknown.
If there’s clear understanding, a man doesn’t shake.
He knows what’s what.
He knows where it’s allowed and where it’s not.
It’s scary if you haven’t gone through this yourself.
If you’ve never been arrested, you don’t know what it’s like or what comes after.
That’s why the fear.
But it’s not true that someone is “going downhill.”
The boy is just exploring the world.
Everything is fine.
You need to unclench your fists
and learn to speak up.
Now let’s go to the roots.
Like it or not,
you’re going to have to divorce your mother.
There are no other options.
Even powerful men shake in front of their wives.
And that’s complete bullshit.
Because that’s not a wife — that’s a mother.
The psyche remembers this pattern very well:
if mom doesn’t like something, dad won’t help.
Everyone knows mom is in charge.
The exception is when the father is a tyrant — but that’s a different story.
Mothers are different.
But honestly, the chances that a mother truly knew what she was doing are extremely low.
Here’s a fact.
The father worked — he never had time for the boy.
And it was the mother who “understood” him.
An ordinary man.
Meaning, he doesn’t go into female psychology.
So we follow the classic scenario.
She will be dissatisfied.
She will nag.
She will disrespect him.
He will brush it off:
“I bring the money. I’m the man.”
The mother’s dissatisfaction leads to an unconscious model —
she starts projecting it onto the boy.
Fear takes over.
She becomes afraid that he will grow up like his father.
She’s afraid to divorce.
She’s afraid to take responsibility.
The only way out is to raise the son as a husband for herself.
She doesn’t understand this.
But slowly and gradually she will turn the son into a husband.
He will become her support.
He will replace the father.
But all of this is a game of shadows.
Neither the father, nor the mother, nor the boy understands it.
She will start nagging the boy as well.
Any of his weakness, his tears, turn into:
“Why are you crying?”
She starts demanding from him like from a man,
but he is still small, his core is not formed yet.
There is no mother here anymore — there is a woman.
And a woman demands from her man that he be strong and not break.
The boy gradually develops weakness.
He is afraid to rely on himself.
Any mistake he makes — the mother comes down on him for it.
The father’s aggression:
“Are you completely stupid or what?”
The boy is small.
He doesn’t understand.
He gets hit:
“You were told not to go there!”
“You’re always causing problems!”
The boy is stubborn.
He follows his nature.
The mother is in tears:
“Why can’t you be normal, look at the neighbor’s kid…”
And it goes on.
Inside the family — passive aggression.
A toxic example of relationships.
But the boy is small.
He doesn’t understand.
His head remembers:
this is love,
this is how it should be.
The boy grows up and thinks everything is normal.
But all this time the subconscious is recording it onto tape.
The guy is sure that he is invulnerable —
he’s got balls.
But this will hit later.
For now, the tape is still recording.
It will hit when he enters the territory of big boys —
where there is no mom and dad,
where business has to be carried by himself,
where responsibility has to be taken by himself.
And the balls start to shrink,
because someone is no longer that brave.
The whip finally stops —
and… play.
The guy is tied up.
He can’t move.
It’s scary to take risks.
Scary to jump.
Scary as hell.
Very scary.
There’s no way back.
Mom and dad released the chick.
This is where all the shaking in business comes from —
making new decisions is damn scary.
Favorite formula:
“It’s better not to do anything than to screw up.”
If it gets really scary, he’ll discuss it with the guys.
They’ll nod —
because they’re the same losers.
They grew up the same way
and didn’t grow up either.
Strong, healthy guys in fact — boys who shake,
because if you mess up, dad will kill you,
and mom’s heart will stop because of you.
Now that everyone has cried, we move on.
You have to divorce your mother
and say no to your father.
Let’s take a family dinner.
Everyone is smiling, everything seems fine.
But his balls are already itching.
He didn’t want to come here at all.
His wife pisses him off.
He’s tired of her.
The kids too.
At the family dinner it’s the same topics, the same shit.
He’s so fed up with it that he wants to burn everything down.
But he’s not a man — he’s a boy.
And he knows the hierarchy.
You can’t go against your parents.
You can’t win that fight.
Your wife will eat you alive.
And so someone is sitting there.
And he wants to cry.
You have to learn to say no to your father.
Even if your knees are shaking.
You have to be able to prove to him
that you’re on equal ground now,
that you’re a man too.
Not a boy.
Let him raise his hand.
If necessary, let him hit you.
Let him kick you out of the house.
Let him throw you out.
Let him stop talking to you.
But deep inside, the guy will know —
he has grown up.
The father has his own demons.
Maybe he himself once dreamed of becoming this way,
but his psyche suppresses it.
And still, the facts are obvious.
Again and again,
when the guy opens his mouth,
they will start taking him seriously.
At some point,
the father will shake his hand —
out of respect,
and because he himself couldn’t do it.
This is almost evil, silent gratitude
for becoming what the father couldn’t.
Even with all his strength,
the father still became a victim of the system.
He will die like the others —
with a wife who keeps nagging
in the house he once bought.
But the son broke out of the system.
The son is powerful.
The father will start measuring himself against him.
After the main lesson is learned —
Sweet little Mommy.
Mother.
This lady will have to be taken off the pedestal.
Key point:
she didn’t do it on purpose.
She didn’t understand.
But the fact is there.
Throw tantrums.
Scream.
Refuse.
Make up anything.
But the boy has grown up.
She will have to accept it.
And enough — about the mother.
The guy has to believe this himself.
Stand without bending.
Let her scheme and manipulate however she wants.
Feet planted apart.
Back straight.
He stands.
He is more of a man than she is.
She has her own husband.
Let them deal with it themselves.
You have to learn to say:
“No, I’m not coming.”
“No, I don’t want to.”
No explanations.
No avoiding eye contact.
One question — one answer.
Then silence.
Until the parents understand
that the party is over.
You can’t ride on him anymore.
Not anymore.
Key point:
the guy has to believe it himself
and go all the way.
Until he wins respect.
If he gives in even once,
they will eat him alive immediately.
Not intentionally —
that’s just how people are built.
No one wants to lose power.
Especially since the boy
was so convenient for so long.
Key point:
don’t listen.
The first thing that will pour out
is shit like:
“You’ve changed.”
“You’re behaving badly.”
“You’ve become rude.”
“I’m ashamed of you.”
Don’t forget —
these people raised you.
They know every weak spot.
They know exactly where to hit.
Don’t listen.
This is not about you.
This is how they survive.
It’s terrifying to give up the boy.
Because then they would have to look
straight at their own mistakes and their own lives.
And that’s worse than war.
But that’s not your problem.
Let the mother, for the first time,
see who she married.
Let the father look at how he lived his life.
That’s not your business.
No “maybe they’re right.”
No “what if.”
No.
All of that is bullshit.
Don’t listen.
Next — when the balls are finally in place —
The wife remains.
Here there are only two options.
If everything went right,
the guy is powerful,
he knows himself that he’s not a loser.
Then the woman will immediately readjust.
There is no way out.
It’s almost a fairy tale —
could it be that her husband
is finally not a rag?
She prayed for this.
Yeah.
That would be beautiful.
But here’s the fact.
The shit won’t come out right away —
but gradually.
They will quickly switch places.
Because now she will start shaking with terror.
A woman is not a little girl —
but almost always she is.
And a girl is married to her father.
That’s a separate story.
There are two exits here.
Either she gets out herself,
or you help her.
But then be ready —
it won’t be sweet.
Therapy is one hell of a mess,
and no one knows what will crawl out of there.

But between us — who cares.
What matters is getting on your feet
and leveling yourself out first.
You can figure things out with a woman later.
Key point:
this is not neglect.
This is responsibility.
First, you stand firmly on your own feet —
solid, without backsliding.
Then you’ll pull her out.
And this whole thing like,
“I’m afraid to disappoint her, I’m afraid to hurt her…”
— yeah, let’s be honest —
that’s cute, but it’s pure bullshit.
Honestly, between us:
first, she’ll figure herself out.
She’ll have to accept that she’s with a man, not a boy.
Second — guys by nature are kind of selfish.
Not angels.
Not gentle little creatures.
Just guys.
I have a hard time imagining
someone with a GoPro
and motorcycles,
riding off-road through the forest,
suddenly thinking,
“Oh no, I wouldn’t want to upset my beloved.”
Yeah.
I seriously doubt it.

Sex.
Guys — yeah, that’s great.
Blondes. Asians. Redheads.
But let’s get to the point.
This all has to be done honestly —
either divorce and go off into freedom,
or only with the woman you love.
I don’t support half-measures and double games.
Marriage.
Family.
These are serious things.

Children.
If you’re a father, there are no excuses.
Fatherhood is real work.
I’m not saying you have to be boring.
But damn it, you have to be a worthy father.
You have to read the damn books about parenting.
There are no questions here.
Not a single one.
No man is respected
if he’s only a shark at work
but an asshole in real life.
Work is not the whole world.
Family is critically important.
Being a father means work.
And you have to tighten your balls
and not run away,
not dump everything on your wife.
These are not only her children.
You are responsible
for the kind of son he grows up to be.
You are responsible
for the kind of man he becomes.
You are responsible for your daughter.
For who she will marry one day.
A man just like you —
always busy,
never available,
who neglects her?
If that kind of shit suits you,
then don’t complain later
when she marries some asshole.
That’s your responsibility.

Key point:
I’m for going all out.
Motorcycles.
Boxing.
Cigarettes.
Drinking.
And all the stupid stuff
women always nag their husbands about.
Because this is male nature.
You can’t cut it down.
You can’t humiliate it.
Of course you have to use your head —
but you can’t shrink yourself.

Last thing.
Guys, no one but you
will put your balls back in place.
You’ll have to sweat.

P.S.
They must weigh a lot,
if everyone’s fighting so hard over them.
You know what I mean.